White Fur

Story time.

I have been dying to tell EVERYONE I KNOW about this story. One of the creepiest moments of my life for sure.

Now I know you are all dying from the suspense. I am sure a few of you are crying and at least one of you are shouting at the computer "WHY OH WHY, CHELSEA, WILL YOU NOT TELL US THE STORY ALREADY?!" To actually tell the story though, I need to start with another story.

This week has been...intense, to say the least. Pretty much I have worked nonstop and really haven't had a break from either job. The busiest day was Wednesday. One of my clients had to have surgery, so I was to spend the day at the hospital with her. The previous day before this (that means Tuesday) everyone was just out of control and I even had to pull out the "mom voice." Lemme tell you about how terrifying my mom voice is. It is so scary that even I shut up after using it. I had to use it on my clients and no one talked for the rest of the night. So pretty much, I didn't sleep at all before surgery. So, with only a handful of sleep hours in me, I headed up to the hospital with the lady. She checked in, was wheeled away, and then I started freaking out. I think the reason why I was freaking out so much was

A: Dorothy has no family to help out whatsoever, so I kept on thinking about how horrible it would be to be all alone with horrible medical things like this

B: Surgery in general. Duh.

C: There was a freaking child in a cage that was being wheeled into the OR. It looked like it was part of a zoo exhibit and it was about to be tortured. That really screwed with me. I then went into anxiety mode and was thinking "I can never have kids" just because of the scrazy cage/gurney thing. Horrible.

So surgery took about two hours, then it was off to her room and nap and just chill with her while she was in recovery mode. Well, I spent a good 14 hours there with her and then I realized that there are seven other women that might need my attention. So I sadly left her at the hospital and went home to where "fun times" were happening.

Fortunately for me, fun times ended before I got there. Unfortunately, two other women were feeling extremely ill, so we made the trip to the ER. Grossest ER experience of my life. Near the end, there was a lady who was hacking up the nastiest sounds ever imagined. When I get tired and don't sleep well, I become nauseous. In fact, I am usually just nauseous all the time. It's just weird. Well, I was pale the whole time and then I almost lost it completely when one of the people accompanying the lady there shouted, "NO I DON'T WANT TO SEE BLOOD IN YOUR VOMIT RIGHT NOW." I quietly ran out of the ER and waited for the ladies to finish up.

Anyways, this week has just been eventful. That being said, I have been stressed like no other. I have not been eating well (crazy bread for any occasion is not the smartest idea I have had) and all my muscles are sore, sore, sore. So I went to visit my aunt and mother at the ADA convention...thing, and there were free foot massages at one of the booths. I was thinking, "Oh hey, my feet aren't too gross today. I might as well get one." Well, I get the creep in the wheelchair and my friend gets the gorgeous Tongan guy. So the poor guy is making me almost cry because he decides to massage my lower calves which are tighter than no other, and we try to have some convo about the essential oils that they were selling. So there I am, with my foot being rubbed and whatnot, and I am saying how I had no clue oils can help with any ailment. He then says this

"Yeah, they can help with muscle pain, clear up acne, and forgive me if this is too forward, can help with sexual mood and pleasure."

What. The. Hell.

Then he keeps on going about how wine and rose petals are great, but there are just some great smells and how he recommends this one called "White Fur" and is trying to find it for me to smell. Mind you, he is still touching my feet and it is on his thigh and whatnot and all I want to do is kick him away and run.

But I was too comfortable to leave, so I just waited until my time was over. However, I would not look him in the eye for the rest of the time.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.

Oh hello there. Happy V day To you lovers out there. I will admit, today has been a pretty fantastic day so far. Lemme tell you ALL about it (because, this is my blog and I can talk about anything I want...or what my grandparents will find agreeable. So no obscene stories today.)

First off, work is crazy right now. What with a full moon last week, everyone has just been out of control. That, and I am preeeetty positive that everyone was PMSing to the extreme. Woof. It is getting much better now, though, even though some people insist that they need to buy a gallon of milk a day. I don't even have a gallon of milk. It's like, share the love of the milk. No one does though.

Oh, woe is me there.

No, but life is going well. One of the clients insists on waking up at four thirty in the morn' and turn on the tele which is right by my bedroom wall. Needless to say, I am so so tired.

So today is valentines. I have actually been looking forward to it this year, which is a little strange to Cold Heart Chelsea, but I just cannot resist making valentines cards. I mean, I love writing cards as it is and with the opportunity for me to bring the cheese monster out I have been all over this. He kids are getting sick of making cards, though. Bummer, for sure.

So today, to celebrate the day of love, I found some GREAT Lord of the Rings and Star Wars cards and have been sending them like crazy. I woke up at a Godforsaken hour, fell asleep in a meeting, and did some awesome paperwork. Did some dancing in the car (this is most definitely the month of George Michael) and was denied to donate blood until Thursday. So now I am using and abusing he wifi at Barnes and Noble and trying not to get too distracted by some lady teasing about how some quiche having 38 grams of fat and some awesome book on the wildlife of Star Wars. I am definite dating material, for sure.

I have been thinking a lot lately (like that is something new) and I have been thinking of all the good people I have in my life. You see, you don't need a lover to celebrate today; just think of all he love that you have from everyone around you! My awesome family, my incredible friends, even the kiddies and the women send me love. I love getting to think about how many good people are in my life and that they want to be in it. Life is just great right now. Olive (fancy way of saying I love) the person I am becoming and even though life is tiring and halfway miserable, I am still for sure enjoying the ride.

So to all of you out there, I send you a most sincere happy valentines day. Thank you for all of you for being wonderful people in this crazy world. Keep up the wonderful job and I hope that you will feel some love come your way.

Now I have to look at that Star Wars book. Hopefully there is an illustrated copy of some lord of the Rings.....so precioussssssssss.

Cheers

Ch.Wa.

Rocks

Oh hey, guess what.

I went to New York. This happened, like, a million weeks ago. I was going to tell the world, but

A) I totally forgot about it until five days before we were leaving

and

B) I never update my blog on time. EVER.

So this is a nice treatsy for all of your eyes to see. Maybe you will even hear my sultry voice in your head (nice try, Waterfall. We all know you sound like a prepubescent boy.)

So my mom and I left on the 25Th of January to the city of dreams. I may be officially changing its slogan to that. Anywho, we left, we flew, we hit a ton of turbulence, and then we landed. Now, this was probably my...ninth time to the city of dreams, so I was just super excited for a low key trip. Well, it was low key but a hella good time too.

You see, my mom's best friend (and one of my fake mothers) was in New York the same time we were. So we all met up. Dana is seriously one of the most HILARIOUS people on this planet. I mean, what honest twenty-three year old would willingly spend their day with some pre-geriatric women in the city?

This twenty-three year old that has two thumbs would. And Did. And horribly ruined a joke.

**Sidenote, I was going to update some photos, but apparently my computer does not want to work. There will be some soon.

So some highlights from New York.

• Watching the Bachelor and giving commentary. Great time.
• Eating so much food. Coming from really only eating cheese cracker and peanut butter (you all can mock now, but it is delicious), to my mom buying food, it was HEAVEN. Pure heaven, I tell you.
• Seeing my amazing sister every day. I love that woman so much. From talking, to watching Portlandia, we had way too much fun. She even shared her food willingly.
• Going to The Lion King. Awesome costumes, awesome music, and just pure awesome...ness.
• Spending every day with my mom and Dana. Those two ladies know how to have a good time.

Yeah, horrible update for now, but I may promise to update more fully soon. With Pictures. And warm fuzzies.

Also, you get a nice picture of me with a valentine attached to this post. I am not smarter than the computer right now (let alone a fifth grader) so this will just be attached to tell you that it is February. Mazel Tov.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.