It has been a while for sure, so sorry about the updates.
So, I wrote last time in February. It is now April. Good information to know.
What is new with me?
Sadly, not too much.
February was a blur. Really don't remember much from it. Probably just a lot of work, work, and more work. I love my job at Central Davis. So much fun working with the teens. They really are just great kids and they help me feel like I have some significance in my life.
I went to the zoo.
March was a great month. It was filled with work, of course, but it was also filled with a great trip to NYC to see the siblings. I have missed them so much. I have been blessed with the family that I was put in. I feel that I have great relations to my siblings, even with our age differences. It was so nice to return to the east, to sit back and relax with trips to the park, long talks, card games, and tons of laughter. They all are so good to me. I miss them all terribly and it just felt so right when I was with all of them again. I just am so lucky for my amazing family!
I was also able to go to CT to visit a couple good nanny friends (Joyce and Raven...you have done so much for me and I love you guys so much) and also to see Chrysula and the little ones. That was a great experience. I feel so much love and gratitude for Chrysula, Warren, and their children. They have all been angels to me and I feel a great bond with them. Chrysula and I talked, ate, talked some more, laughed, cried, and just shared stories of life. The kids were great and it was so fun to see them. Probably my most favorite part was when I was leaving and I asked Garret for a hug and he shouted "I'm not going to give you a hug; I'm going to give you a kiss!" I love them all so, so much.
So New York was an amazing time. A much needed relaxing trip to get away for a couple days. The rest of March was full of work, trying to figure out a whole new format and structure for the after-school program, good friends and good family. Life is going great right now.
I was extremely grateful for this weekend with it being General Conference. I was able to watch all four sessions and I actually watched and listened! Big step for me, or anyone for that matter, ha. Probably my most favorite talk was Elder Ballard's about mother-daughter relations. I just sat through that whole talk thinking, "My mom is AWESOME! I love her so much!" It was great to know that I have an amazing relationship with her. She seriously is my best friend. There is nothing more that I love than to just sit and talk with my mom. She is so kind, loving, witty, smart, hilarious, hard working, and caring person that I know. She is just great, and I gain more understanding of this every day.
It was also a really neat experience that conference was over Easter. What a great coincidence that was! Not only were we able to feel the spirit from the prophet and his apostles, but we were also able to ponder and appreciate all Christ has done for us. Amazing! It was neat to hear the tender, yet powerful, testimonies that were shared of Christ's nobility, his infinate atonement, of his love for each of us, and of his true existence. That was an experience that will be hard to forget.
Exciting news about tomorrow:
I get to start my mission papers!!!
You don't even know how long I have been waiting for this day to come. Well, we could all say "Since January, Chelsea!" but really, it feels like it has been longer. I have gotten a lot of people being curious why I am preparing for a mission and why I really want to do this, so I thought that I might as well share it with all of you at the same time.
Honestly, I have thought about a mission since I was young. I remember always in my 10 or 5--year plan that I would maybe serve a mission if I wasn't married by then (Ha! Imagine me married now! The thoughts that a thirteen year-old comes up with. ) It has always been in my mind that I would like to serve the Lord if it was the right thing to do. I have just always had that desire.
I have had my ups and downs with the gospel--like everyone else--but from my senior year on, it was pretty solid--if not going up. I realized that I actually did like the church in my life and that I had a testimony of Christ and the Church. I was doing the right things in my life and I had some good faith in God.
Then I decided to nanny in New York. Even when I look back at it this day, I have no doubt in my mind that experience was needed in my life right then. I went out with complete faith in the Lord and in myself. What an amazing, spirtitual experience that was! I learned to rely on Christ, to ask for His hand in my everyday life. I have never felt so much spiritual guidence in my life like that. I realized how important it was to have the gospel in my life, in my home. I felt humble gratitude at being blessed with a father who has the priesthood, to have a mom who cares for her kids. I learned that I wanted that, to raise a family in the gospel, more than anything. I gained a testimony of the Book of Mormon while I was out there, I had prayers answered, and life was good even in the times of trial.
Now we all know that my nannying job was not a bed of roses. I went through some Hell out there and at the very end, I lost some grip with the gospel. I knew it was true and right, but hopelessness had a good pull on me. With my circumstances, it only seems normal that something like that would happen. I left that job a shell of a person. I should have never let anyone have that much control over my life, and sadly, I did let that happen. It has taken some time to build myself back up, but with the grace of God, it is surely happening.
When I think about all that I have gone through in life--which is not much at all--I realize that I have been truly blessed by God. I realize how much love I have for Him, for all that He has given me. I am too blessed, honestly. I have even been immensly blessed in times of trial. I, being human, feel that I don't deserve this at all, but I still receive. I get to have a relationship with God, I get to have the gospel, the priesthood, the Book of Mormon; I get to have truth! What an amazing and awesome thing to have! Why was I so blessed to be born into the church? I wonder that often, if not daily. God truly has given me much, and when much is given, much is required. I feel for all that I have been given that a mission is the only way that I can show my gratitude and appreciation for what God has given me. My soul sings of the truth; I love this gospel so much! Why wouldn't I want to give a mere eighteen months of my life to serve the Lord and to bring others to the knowledge of truth? To me, it is inconceivable for me to not want to serve a mission. It is the best way for me to show my love and dedication to Him.
Now, I don't want you all to think that I have not given thought to this at all. I have prayed, prayed, fasted, prayed, and prayed some more about this. It is a monumental decision to make. I have had strong conviction that this is what I need to do right now in my life. I have received an answer so now I have to act out what has been brought to my knowledge. I have confidence in the Lord and in myself that I will be able to do this. I am so excited for this new step in life! And even if it doesn't work out in the end, I have only bettered myself in life. I am just so excited and so ready to give my life for the Lord.
All is well in my life. I could not ask for more. I have so much love and so much strength in my life right now. My heart overflows with gratitude. I have been blessed so much in life and I am so excited for the things to come. I love you all so much and I hope all is well. I will keep you all updated on the things to come; it will all be great!
Love you all
Cheers.
Ch.Wa