Sunday, February 3, 2013

Famous Blue Raincoat


Yo yo, cyber world.

I have finally become ill. I thought that I could hide from being sick. I mean, all my coworkers have been sick at least once and since I did not contract what they have had, it made me feel like my immune system is invincible.

Boy was I wrong.

You see, I already have a pretty shotty immune system. Last time I was sick, I was extremely ill. I couldn't swallow, I couldn't breathe, and death seemed like a better option than having a sandpaper covered throat.

I never over exaggerate.

Really though, it was pure hell. Thank goodness I had strep because I was able to take the sweet, holy communion of science and those antibiotics worked their magic almost immediately.

So that ill time was in September. Still haunts me to this day.

I guess the symptoms started on Thursday. I started getting that tickling in the throat and I started freaking out. I wasn't freaking out enough to take some vitamin C or anything like that, though. So I tried to shove it off, but I knew the imminent disaster was about to happen.

So Friday, it was getting progressively worse. The sore throat started to happen and an awful cough was developing. Not a normal, "oh hey, I am just a cough." No, it is one that scrapes all your insides and sounds sooooooooo nasty. It hurts so bad.

Saturday was even worse. My throat was getting sorer and sorer. My lymph nodes started to swell and the cough was ripping me apart. Since I was working at UNI, I got to wear a super awesome face mask. Face masks are absolutely disgusting. I already feel like a walking germ when I am sick, but it is more apparent when you hack into the mask and feel all the grossness floating around.

I have turned into an amoeba.

So all this whining has led up to the current situation. Here I am, working at valley with my super awesome and ever so glamorous face mask. My clients keep on asking me what the hell is wrong with me, and I just try to explain that I don't want to get them sick.

*They don't share that concern towards me because I have been coughed and sneezed on way too many time. Gross, gross, gross.

All I want to do is pour wax or something like that down my throat so it is coated in something. I can't yawn, I can't laugh, I can't really even swallow. I have never wished I had strep so much in my life...except for the last time I had it.

Well, I guess that is the super duper up-to-date moment of my life. I guess I can fill y'all in with a nice chit chat of recent events.

My life is extremely boring. All I do is work or never leave my bed. I was talking to my trainer a few weeks ago about calorie intake (eating is an issue with me so I never get enough calories, which leads to me really not seeing results for kicking my ass every day. PS I don't have an eating disorder.) and he mentioned an amount I can have if I lived a sedentary life style. I just looked at him point blank and said, "I already do that because I never leave my bed." He looked back and said, "I already know that, that is why this is perfect for you." We had a jolly good laugh at that, then continued our session so I could go home and curl up under my down.

While in bed, I have found the joy of Netflix. I really have never been a fan of television (except for Degrassi. I love Degrassi more than Lucille 2....only kidding....kind of) and since we didn't know that we had cable, nothing really has gone down with that. But now, all these aimless opportunities of watching tv and movies is like manna to the hebrews. I can't stop watching EVERYTHING.

Biggest find was Breaking Bad. Pretty much love that show. It makes me want to google how to make meth, but I have a pretty good feeling that the government watches things like that. So now, I will never be able to be a chemistry teacher to gets lung cancer and starts making the purest meth on the planet...or something like that.

Boo hoo.

So that is fun. Occasionally I leave my room to be productive with, I don't know, going to work, maybe socializing with people, getting copious amounts of coffee, or going to the gym. Awesome Possum.

So after sitting on this post more and more, I am realizing this is the lamest post I have written yet. So I will write a haiku for you.

Tired of my mask
The germs are touching my face
At least it's not crabs.


I remember a time, a time far away
Where everything was bright and everything gay
But now as I sit, with a mask on my face
All I can want is some relieving grace

Oh viruses, viruses, why treat me this way!?
Can't you just leave instead of delay
your time with me, it hurts oh so much
It hurts in my lungs, it hurts to be touched

So please pass me by, like the angel of death
I'll smear young goat's blood in exchange for clean breath
Just leave me alone, your time is all done
Leave me alone to play with George Washington


Cheers.
Ch.Wa