Just a Song Before I Go

Oh hey, World. I have some big news.

I am HOMELESS.

Mother is going to be furious about this...

Ok, so I really am not homeless, but I did move out of my dwelling in Bountiful. Which adds to more news...

I am JOBLESS

Bring on the calls, Mother...

Well, I ended my job with Davis Behavioral Health. With me ending said job, I had to move out. Sometimes, even with a mental illness, you don't get to live with the rest of the crazies.

Rats. (not really)

So yeah, I ended my job. I have been thinking about this for awhile (since my first week at the job...woof) and a year at a highly demanding job like that is amazing. Incredible. Almost impossible.

Well, I defied impossible once again. Go me. No, but some crappy crap was going on at work and then they decided to make the place coed and when they said that, I put on my panama hat and headed out the door. Problem was, I totally forgot that my parents were moving out of their place and there was no room in their inn for this virgin (immaculate, I know).

Shoot.

(Currently, Cami is sitting by me reading this while I type and she just told me "I really wish that I wasn't reading this right now and laughing because then I won't be able to laugh at it tomorrow during class." I am a fun crusher sometimes, for sure.)

So. I was about to be homeless. Imagine this, if you will. Chelsea, high stressed and highly emotional, thinking about THE FUTURE. Scary thing to imagine. Scarier thing to go through. Thoughts of adult responsibilities ran through my mind. 

--I have to pay rent.

--I have to find a job that will help me pay rent.

--I have to have a baby.

--I really don't have to have said baby, but thinking about it terrifies me. 

--I try to find a date so I can marry and have said baby.

Woe. Is. Me.

P.S., I hate "dating" or whatever the hell that term means. Damn Match still isn't cutting out. None of you get to see me on a commercial any time soon. *single tear* ---Pun definitely intended.

Back to being an adult.

It was a scary moment thinking about it. I don't want to be homeless. I would have to prostitute myself with Lord of the Rings or something (body wise, I wouldn't be the best choice for a prostitute. Double woof. However, LOTR-wise, I would be rolling in the Benjamin's with Smeagol or somethin' like that. Big Pimpin' in Mordor. Hobbit style.)

Please ignore that little snigit *combination of snitch and golden nugget* of grossness. But really, the idea of being homeless was horrible. I would stink. And I guess other stuff too. The point is, it would be a horrible experience and all I would grow from it is a butch hair cut and a barbed-wire tattoo on my arm. So I was freaking out and contacting everyone I know to tell them that I wouldn't have a home, hoping people would offer a place. Sneaky, I know. 

And it worked! Really, I have some amazing friends. My sweet, incredible, amazing, gorgeous, almost social worker (sorry, Cami, it's not you) Kara and her amazing hubby offered me a place with them. Miracle on 34th street for sure. So I will be their practice child for a month. 

I will make them never want to have kids. 

But, really, it has been pretty rough with thinking about moving. I mean, it is super exciting. I will get a new job, meet new people (not from Match...duh) and just have some great new experiences. It is scarier than Hell though. In fact, if I do go to Hell, I am sure it will be an eternal struggle of thinking I am going to be homeless and job hunting. 

Double Woof.

Plus, I am going to miss my ladies. 

That job has been rough. It has been miserable at times. I remember the first month, I would have my weekly breakdowns on Sundays. It was glorious. False, it was terrible. But I made it through and then the job was actually, well, quite enjoyable. I learned a lot about myself ( like, that I really should never be a manager or an RA ever again) and I learned a lot about other people, good and bad. 

I love my ladies. One of them came in and chitchatted with me while I finished my packing and it was great. We talked about Lord of the Rings (no brainer) and just some good ol' times. She was one of the toughest clients at the house, but it was just great to just sit and talk with her. She told me about her life and gave me some great grains of wisdom. One of the best things that she said to me was this: "Chelsea, you are going to make it though this and you are going to be happy. You will get a job, you will have friends, and you are going to be great to everyone around you. I know you have made a dent in my life and you are going to continue that wherever you go."

Wow. I started bawling and she told me to stop because those are just wasted tears. It has been great talking to them. They have helped me learn more about me and...tooting my own horn here...but of all the good that I can provide for others. When I was telling my favorite client about me moving, *we all have favorites, so shut up. I know I am one of Craig's top three. I may have also made him say that* She was like, "Chelsea, if you leave, I will die." After her saying that, I was like, "Well, if you say something like that again, we will have to make a trip to the hospital."

I am reeeeally funny.

But she then said, "No, I am serious. I will not live there if you aren't there. You make the place comfortable."

Again, I started crying. Boob, I am. I mean, comfortable is not a word to be used lightly, in my opinion. When something, or someone, is comfortable, it is the best thing in the world. I automatically think of my bed, Diet Coke, and Return of the King (again, why won't guys realize how awesome I am?* So to be considered comfortable is the highest honor. 

I hope I don't sound like bragging. I think I really just need to write good things about myself so I can feel good about the situation, you know? Maybe if I read these things and remember them, then I will believe them. Trying some psych right now. 

Really, though, let's get to the point. I truly care about these women. It has been the hardest job ever, but working with these women, I have learned that I really do like them. We have had some great times together. Whether it is me making them push me in the cart at Wal*Mart or watching When Harry Met Sally, it has been full of laughs. We would dance, we would sing, we would laugh, and we would even cry. They are great people. 

I really am going to miss them and the job. It is sad leaving people and worrying about who will come and take care of them next. I guess I am a little protective over them, but really, they deserve the best care and I hope they get it. 

Anyways, after bawling my eyes out all day there, I went to my other job and bawled my eyes out there. May have accidentally dropped a tear or two in front of the kiddies. BONUS FOR ME THOUGH. It totally made them shut up and be on the greatest behavior ever in tutoring. It is sad with that job too, though, because program is ending next week. My kiddies are going off to summer break and I won't get to see them.

I love my kids. I adore them. Oh my gosh, they are horrible sometimes, but they are the best things in my life. 

So there you go. Chelsea is stressed, tired, and thirsty. But as my lady said, 

Chelsea is going to be happy again.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa