Sister Golden Hair

So if I have learned anything from my blog, it is that I suck at updating things.

Big. Time. Suck.

At least we all found this out together, right?

Right, Chelsea.

Now that we have that all under control, I might as well update.

Last time I wrote, it was mid-March. It is May 1st. Ok, so let's get this party started.

March was a pretty good march. I got to go see my family in New York. Loved it. Ah, I love my siblings and adopted siblings! I miss them so much; they are probably happy to have me out of their hair, ha! Only kidding.

The rest of March was just pretty chill. Work and work went well. Apparently nothing too exciting happened cause I don't remember anything.

This last month was April. This one might be easier for me to handle.

April 1st had snow. Cruelest April Fool's joke ever played on EVERYONE. That was intense. Nothing really happened in my life. It has been just filled with work, honestly. On my mom's birthday, I had my whole work sing "Happy Birthday" to her. That was pretty exciting. Eh, I will have to think of more, ha.

My papers have been sent in to my bish! That was pretty exciting to have that all finished. They really were not hard to fill out at all. Everyone makes them sound so long and hard to do, but really, they were a breeze, like the breezes you are supposed to get from April, (Only kidding, Mother Earth. You brought some nice weather to us, too.) So after I send them in, I suddenly get a kidney stone. Coincidence?

I THINK NOT!

Honestly, I was so mad at that little stone! So much pain in my back! It also happened right after I had decided fully on the mish. Pretty much, I am pretty mad at Satan, that lame jerk. Interesting to think about how a week ago my bish was telling me to "watch out" for the adversary. He came faster than expected. But at least it is just another testament about how true the gospel is. Everyone that I have talked to has had some sort of similar experience when they decide--and it sounds like it won't stop at this! Why would things happen to discourage us when it is for something that is not true? It only makes me want to go out more and with more strength, to show the world, God, and Satan that I know what I am doing is true and I am strong enough to endure.

So take that!

Ha, I am so excited for all that is going to happen in the next month. I get to turn my papers in in a couple weeks, and get my call at the end of this month. Holy crazy!!!! I know in my heart that this is what I am supposed to do and I just can't wait!

Am I nervous? Of course!

But do I know I will be in good hands? Only the best!

It will be so worth it and it will be so great to be in the Lord's company 24/7. Everyone gets nervous for something new, for the unknown. But it will be an amazing experience and something that nothing else will compare to. I just can't wait!

I hope all is well with everyone. I love you all and life is so good!

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.

Me, preaching the elderly

Merry Happy

Hello all!
It has been a while for sure, so sorry about the updates.

So, I wrote last time in February. It is now April. Good information to know.
What is new with me?

Sadly, not too much.

February was a blur. Really don't remember much from it. Probably just a lot of work, work, and more work. I love my job at Central Davis. So much fun working with the teens. They really are just great kids and they help me feel like I have some significance in my life.

I went to the zoo.

March was a great month. It was filled with work, of course, but it was also filled with a great trip to NYC to see the siblings. I have missed them so much. I have been blessed with the family that I was put in. I feel that I have great relations to my siblings, even with our age differences. It was so nice to return to the east, to sit back and relax with trips to the park, long talks, card games, and tons of laughter. They all are so good to me. I miss them all terribly and it just felt so right when I was with all of them again. I just am so lucky for my amazing family!

I was also able to go to CT to visit a couple good nanny friends (Joyce and Raven...you have done so much for me and I love you guys so much) and also to see Chrysula and the little ones. That was a great experience. I feel so much love and gratitude for Chrysula, Warren, and their children. They have all been angels to me and I feel a great bond with them. Chrysula and I talked, ate, talked some more, laughed, cried, and just shared stories of life. The kids were great and it was so fun to see them. Probably my most favorite part was when I was leaving and I asked Garret for a hug and he shouted "I'm not going to give you a hug; I'm going to give you a kiss!" I love them all so, so much.

So New York was an amazing time. A much needed relaxing trip to get away for a couple days. The rest of March was full of work, trying to figure out a whole new format and structure for the after-school program, good friends and good family. Life is going great right now.

I was extremely grateful for this weekend with it being General Conference. I was able to watch all four sessions and I actually watched and listened! Big step for me, or anyone for that matter, ha. Probably my most favorite talk was Elder Ballard's about mother-daughter relations. I just sat through that whole talk thinking, "My mom is AWESOME! I love her so much!" It was great to know that I have an amazing relationship with her. She seriously is my best friend. There is nothing more that I love than to just sit and talk with my mom. She is so kind, loving, witty, smart, hilarious, hard working, and caring person that I know. She is just great, and I gain more understanding of this every day.

It was also a really neat experience that conference was over Easter. What a great coincidence that was! Not only were we able to feel the spirit from the prophet and his apostles, but we were also able to ponder and appreciate all Christ has done for us. Amazing! It was neat to hear the tender, yet powerful, testimonies that were shared of Christ's nobility, his infinate atonement, of his love for each of us, and of his true existence. That was an experience that will be hard to forget.

Exciting news about tomorrow:

I get to start my mission papers!!!

You don't even know how long I have been waiting for this day to come. Well, we could all say "Since January, Chelsea!" but really, it feels like it has been longer. I have gotten a lot of people being curious why I am preparing for a mission and why I really want to do this, so I thought that I might as well share it with all of you at the same time.

Honestly, I have thought about a mission since I was young. I remember always in my 10 or 5--year plan that I would maybe serve a mission if I wasn't married by then (Ha! Imagine me married now! The thoughts that a thirteen year-old comes up with. ) It has always been in my mind that I would like to serve the Lord if it was the right thing to do. I have just always had that desire.

I have had my ups and downs with the gospel--like everyone else--but from my senior year on, it was pretty solid--if not going up. I realized that I actually did like the church in my life and that I had a testimony of Christ and the Church. I was doing the right things in my life and I had some good faith in God.

Then I decided to nanny in New York. Even when I look back at it this day, I have no doubt in my mind that experience was needed in my life right then. I went out with complete faith in the Lord and in myself. What an amazing, spirtitual experience that was! I learned to rely on Christ, to ask for His hand in my everyday life. I have never felt so much spiritual guidence in my life like that. I realized how important it was to have the gospel in my life, in my home. I felt humble gratitude at being blessed with a father who has the priesthood, to have a mom who cares for her kids. I learned that I wanted that, to raise a family in the gospel, more than anything. I gained a testimony of the Book of Mormon while I was out there, I had prayers answered, and life was good even in the times of trial.

Now we all know that my nannying job was not a bed of roses. I went through some Hell out there and at the very end, I lost some grip with the gospel. I knew it was true and right, but hopelessness had a good pull on me. With my circumstances, it only seems normal that something like that would happen. I left that job a shell of a person. I should have never let anyone have that much control over my life, and sadly, I did let that happen. It has taken some time to build myself back up, but with the grace of God, it is surely happening.

When I think about all that I have gone through in life--which is not much at all--I realize that I have been truly blessed by God. I realize how much love I have for Him, for all that He has given me. I am too blessed, honestly. I have even been immensly blessed in times of trial. I, being human, feel that I don't deserve this at all, but I still receive. I get to have a relationship with God, I get to have the gospel, the priesthood, the Book of Mormon; I get to have truth! What an amazing and awesome thing to have! Why was I so blessed to be born into the church? I wonder that often, if not daily. God truly has given me much, and when much is given, much is required. I feel for all that I have been given that a mission is the only way that I can show my gratitude and appreciation for what God has given me. My soul sings of the truth; I love this gospel so much! Why wouldn't I want to give a mere eighteen months of my life to serve the Lord and to bring others to the knowledge of truth? To me, it is inconceivable for me to not want to serve a mission. It is the best way for me to show my love and dedication to Him.

Now, I don't want you all to think that I have not given thought to this at all. I have prayed, prayed, fasted, prayed, and prayed some more about this. It is a monumental decision to make. I have had strong conviction that this is what I need to do right now in my life. I have received an answer so now I have to act out what has been brought to my knowledge. I have confidence in the Lord and in myself that I will be able to do this. I am so excited for this new step in life! And even if it doesn't work out in the end, I have only bettered myself in life. I am just so excited and so ready to give my life for the Lord.

All is well in my life. I could not ask for more. I have so much love and so much strength in my life right now. My heart overflows with gratitude. I have been blessed so much in life and I am so excited for the things to come. I love you all so much and I hope all is well. I will keep you all updated on the things to come; it will all be great!

Love you all

Cheers.

Ch.Wa

How Great Thou Art

So I watch this video at least twice a month. I just love it, and I hope you all will enjoy it. Big post to come up soon. I hope all is well with everyone. Love you all
Cheers,
Ch.Wa

Both Sides Now

Guess who is sick again.
I will give you a hint. It's me.

Give up? Well, it is me that is sick. Oh joy, right?

I started feeling all weird on Friday. That weird "calm before the storm" type-thing. It was in the morning a bit, and a little more in the afternoon, but I just shook it off like it was no big deal.

I went to 4-H, and we were frosting cookies with me sitting closest to the frosting. I could not stand the smell worth anything. I just felt all nauseated and nasty, but I still played it off. Jess and I had been planning on getting Chinese food for the whole week, so I thought, "Hey, Chinese food isn't nauseating at all so I might as well risk it." When Jess and I eat, though, it is like we are going to die in a few hours, so we might as well eat all that we can. So we ordered a TON of food, the most noted thing being 20 crab ragoons. So we settled in, got our food, and started Harry Potter. So what was supposed to be a kick-butt evening turned quite sour in my gut. I wanted to get comfy, so I told Jess I was going home to get my jams on. She was fine with that, so I left to go home.

Driving home, I kept thinking "I feel like I want to throw up." I blamed it on the amount of food I ate--which could have fed a small village in Africa. I kept shaking it off, got gas, changed, and left for Layton. When I was at the street to turn to Jess', I had to call her to say that I needed to go home cause I felt sick. I think pulled over to almost hurl. Probably one of my classiest moments yet in my life. I drove home, sat on the floor, and felt dizzy to the 10th degree. Everything was spinning, I couldn't sit up, and my tum hated me.

To skip the gory details, I did accomplish what I felt like I was going to do all day. So here I am, on a Saturday, lounging/sleeping/eating a bit/nauseated/feeling well/nauseated once again/etc. It is quite frustrating to be sick once again, after a long couple weeks prior to this. Oh well, maybe it is my body just trying to cleanse itself or being pushed to its edge with stress. Interesting thought.

It hasn't been that bad of a couple weeks though. I felt better for a tiny bit, worked, worked, and worked once again. There were nights with good friends, temple visits, and a "trip" to Provo to see the BFFs. Plus, I got to get some quality Lord of the Rings time in, which is always a good thing for me.

Big moment of my life though:
While watching (more like trying to watch) the opening ceremonies for the Olympics, my favorite song was played. Yes, that song is by the beloved Joni Mitchell that is titled Both Sides Now. I almost cried while watching the performance that was set to her voice. This song is pure bliss to me. I listen to it at least once a day, and its words are embedded in my mind. So to hear that song last night played at union of many nations in the name of sports made my sick--quite literally--night.

All is well though. I will hopefully be better soon. Maybe I will even write a more fun post, eh?

Apparently, I am Canadian now.
Cheers.
Ch.Wa.

Hello and HAPPY FEBRUARY!

So I have been a big bum lately and have not written on my blog for

4 months

Yikes.

So sorry about that to everyone...that might read this? Yeah, it is probably just family, but still, you guys are important to me and I want to let you into my life. The end.

I guess it is time to talk about life now. Life, life, life...where to start?

Well, October and November are a blur. I have literally been sitting her for five minutes trying to think of what happened. Probably just work and school, work and school. Nothing too painful.

December was a great time. There were finals (I passed all my classes), buyback at the bookstore, and the holidays. It was so great to have Dave, Emily, Ang, and Greg come home for Christmas. I hadn't seen them since July, so it was amazing to have everyone home under the same roof. I'm a sucker when it comes to family. I truly have been blessed with my family--both immediate and extended. It was so nice to just sit with my brother and sisters, talking about life, laughing at memories, and being able to share each others' company. It is a neat thing to build loving relationships with family. You don't love them because you have to, you cherish every moment together, good or bad, and build each other up. I am so grateful for all they do for me and the love and support I receive from them.

This Christmas, I made everyone scarves for their gift. It was so fun to learn how to crochet! I felt all domestic and whatnot while making homemade crafts. They all turned out beautifully and it was a great way to show my love for everyone because of the time I spent making them.

January came, and quickly left it feels like. I still work at the bookstore, and I love it as much as I did when I started. I also started a new job at Central Davis Jr. High being a 4-H after school counselor. It has been so much fun working with my seven teenagers. They are a bunch of high energy kids, but they are all so great. We have a ton of fun with sports, crafts, and games. Last week it was my week to teach, so we went to a different country each day. In Kenya, we made African masks, Japan was for zen gardens, in Greece we made our own gods and goddesses, and in Mexico, we had a fiesta complete with a pinata. We ended the week coming back to the U.S. and did a service project from the Humanitarian Center. I feel it went quite well.

I am currently training for the Ogden half marathon on May 15th. I am so excited/nervous for this! It is so much fun seeing how much strength I really have and the endurance I can come up with. My training missed all last week though, due to a nasty cold/flu. Man, I haven't been down like this for a long, long time. I am finally recovering, though I still have the voice of a smoker.

Another thing that I am currently training for is to be a missionary for the church. I am extremely excited about this. It is still a thought in process, but my philosophy is if I decide to go, then I will go. If I feel it is not the right thing at this time, I still gained so much from preparing myself. It really has been a goal of mine to serve a mission. I remember including it in my "5 year plan" of life just in case. I think New York helped me with planning for this in a secret manner that God can use at times. From all our trials, there are blessings in store, no matter what. Working with the missionaries in my CT ward, I gained a love for the service of missionaries and a love for Preach My Gospel. I hope all works out for me to go. At this moment, it feels right, so hopefully it will all be good. Yay for starting my papers in a month!

So all is well in my life. Yes, it is busy and yes, it is interesting at times, but it is still good to me. I hope all are well and I promise to update more often!

Cheers.

Ch.Wa

The Wolves (Act I and Act II)

Hello.

So, my birthday is coming up. It is actually in pretty much seven days. Why am I telling you this? Well, I have been thinking a lot about my life, particularly this year. I have thought about the ups, the downs, the sorrows and joys, and all the things that I have particularly been blessed with. I have witnessed parts of heaven and traveled in the perils of Hell. Adding to this the picture that I am living my last days as a "teen", it is only appropriate to think if I have lived my life how I planned it to be.

Life is just interesting; it really seems like that is all it is. The course that we take with it is so diverse for all of us, but we all need that diverse drive in it. I still wonder to this day why I decided to move to New York and why did I nanny at that particular time in my life. I wouldn't change that experience for anything in the world, though I do wish it did not have to end so abruptly and painfully. In a sense, I needed that job in my life right then. If it weren't for it, I wouldn't have had the chance to build a relationship with my brother and my sister-in-law. I wouldn't have learned to depend on myself or depend on my Lord. I would have never made the friendships I did there or have people touch my life. I feel, though, that I would have never realized the opportunities I will have in this life and the personal priority shift that would take place in my heart. I never knew I could love so many people with so much force until I took care of those three girls. I will never forget the special relationship that I shared with Maddie; how she opened my eyes to what life is really about. I went into that job wanting things only for me, a selfish way but a practical one for a nineteen year old. I wanted a career, a busy life in a metropolis, living only for myself. I left though realizing that I want to give myself to others. I want a life full of love, full of passion for all things, and to really take care of others. I now can say that I do want a family one day, a rarity for me to say before. Without that job, I would have had to realize this later on with much more trial-and-error.

How I wish that I could say that all this learning came through the easy and joyful times in these past months. Most of the growing, like how growing likes to be done, came from pain, anguish, and hard times. I have never felt so alone in my life before; so deprived in all aspects of life. I was humiliated, belittled, and doubted countless times. A lot of times in that abyss, it was hard for me to remember that I had some kind of worth. The pain is still with me today, but it is recovering at the speed it needs to. It was hard to work so hard and so much and have no one see that, especially the person that you were trying to prove yourself to. They will never realize how much I cared about them, loved them, and took their thoughts before my own. I will admit that it is extremely painful to hear that someone you looked up to--be it in fear or any other circumstance--say that you aren't a good caregiver and that you don't want to be a mother or that you aren't even that material, when you had been taking care of their kids for six months. That cut deep like many things that happened there. But how could I have had some beautiful and amazing experiences without that pain? Things happen for a reason and I needed that test for my life. It did throw me back a bit with my self confidence and love, but it was needed.

With any hard time, there always is a bit of a silver lining. That came beautifully after my termination in New York. In fact, with me leaving that nanny job was a blessing in itself. My work and task was done for that time and it was time for me to move on with my life. How grateful I am that I got to move on to the next chapter of my life in the sweetest house in Darien, CT. The Lord is one mysterious man and he always makes things work out so beautifully. I left New York broken, in pain, and scared. I entered into the Winegar's house feeling warmth, love, compassion, and gratitude. I don't think I have ever been that appreciated in my life before. They really don't know what they have done for me. Chrysula was my aide in this turbulent time; she truly cared for me and saw my potential. I was home when I was with the Winegars. Everything worked out so perfectly and timely for everyone, but I will eternally be grateful for that chance I had with them. I cannot put in words how much I love that family. They saved me from myself, and helped me realize again who I really was. I want to be like them in all my doings in life. They touched me so much, how can I not try to touch others that way? I miss them terribly and long for the day to see them again. Coincidences like that just don't happen. I am truly blessed to have that "just happen" to me.

It has been almost three months since I have moved home from the East. It has been hard to adjust back to life. Depression was my friend for a time and life went on slowly. I am happy to report that I am much better than I was before. Jobs and friends have crept up on me and helped me open my heart to new horizons again. I do feel like I have changed a bit, that I still have some reservations about myself. I am in a much better place though than three months ago. Just me opening up like this about the pain I felt is a huge step. I know things happened for a reason and maybe that is to share them so I can lift others up.

I am so grateful for all I have. Life really has been good to me. I have the most amazing family and I miss them more than anything. If I could, I would jump on a plane right now to New York to see them, hug them, and tell them how much I love them. They have helped me through this time and have been an anchor in rough seas. I have the greatest friends anyone could ask for. They have been there for me, in the good times and the bad. I haven't been the best friend out there during this experience and I wish I could take some things back that I have done. If they could only know how much they mean to me, they would blush ten times over. My heart fills with much love and gratitude when I think of them and all they have done for me. Whether it be a lunch date, late night drive, or me tearing down the soiled walls of anguish, all those events were a blessing times over. I really don't know what I did to deserve the kindness that I have received. I hope they all know how appreciative I am for them.

I am so grateful for all of you out there. You all mean so much to me. I hope you can feel the love I possess for each of you. Thank you for being part of my twenty year span so far. May God bless us all with the knowledge to see all we have and the compassion to help others out there. I love you all and wish you the best.

That'll Be The Plan

Greetings from Darien!!!

Hello All! I have relocated on my journey of life for a while. My goodness, my gracious, a lot has happened in this past week of my life. A lot of bad, but a hundredfold of good. To let you in on some of it, I will give you some key pointers.

--First off, I was "let off" from my job in Harrison, NY.

--My mom was the one to call me, not my boss.

--Prayers were answered almost immediately.

--Saturday morning, I ran away with the aide of David, Emily, and a white mustang convertible. The great escape was planned out well.

Last week was brutal. It was hard and awkward. It was so worth it for this end result.

I am extremely blessed.

I am now living with the most amazing family in this entire universe in Darien, Connecticut. They have recently moved from the city (on Saturday, to be exact) and I have been helping Chrysula with her kids while the moving process is going on. We were both an answer to each other's prayers.

Emily works with Warren, the patriarch of the family. After I was fired, she had some chitchat time with both Warren and Chrysula. They were talking about how they were moving in that weekend to CT and how they were stressed with how they were going to move in, handle the kids, etc., etc. Well, I had just been let go literally hours before this. Emily told them about me, she told me about them, and we agreed that I would come to help them on Saturday. Jeannie wanted me to stay until the fifth for her "convenience", but I was a fired woman and she had no control. So I moved in with this new family.

Wow.

What.

A.

Difference.

There is so much love in this home. The spirit is so strong. For the first time in six months, I have actually felt like I matter to people. The Holy Ghost is a constant companion and feels the home with love and warmth. The kids are great. We have Ceci, who is six, Gigi who is five, Garret who is two and a half, and little Hugh who is five and a half months. It is great. These kids know so much and love so much. I see the light of Christ in all of them. They are so smart and make me feel so loved. Yes, at times it gets hectic. The craziness of this household is so different though. There is purpose in it. There is strong understanding of each other and it is a family, not a business. These kids are my number one priority, which surprised them. They are amazing and true angels in my eyes.

Chrysula is a saint above saints. I have never felt so much love geared towards me before. She is so generous and so thoughtful. She is the mom that I want to be. She truly cares about her kids and shows great love and affection towards each of them. She has taken care of me so well and always says kind, genuine things to me. I haven't heard so many positive things pointed at me for six months, I don't know what to do with myself. I often break down in tears daily, being so grateful for all the blessings in my life. I am truly blessed. Her and Warren have taken so much time in making sure I feel comfortable and at peace. They are truly disciples of Christ. I could never thank them enough for all that they have been doing for me. I honestly cannot describe in words how grateful I am. Thank you to both of them. I love them more then they will ever know.

My friend is taking the discussions right now. She came to church with me on Sunday and agreed to meet with the missionaries on Tuesday. The lesson went extremely well. She seems interested enough and I hope and pray that she felt the spirit. The gospel has brought me so much joy into my life; I hope that she will see that and let that joy encompass hers as well.

I really don't know what I did to deserve such fantastic treatment at the moment. I am a shell of myself right now. The last six months of my life have been brutal. My confidence has been tested and my self-image has been distorted. I truly felt like I lost who I once was. As Ether promises though, through God, weak things are made strong. It's interesting to think of that, because Tommy wrote me something very interesting on that subject with missionary work. He told me that the Lord breaks you down into the lowest of lows then builds you back up to what He wants you to be. I see that with myself right now. I suffered a lot, but I now see His hand even more in my life. Unfortunately this has made me an emotional wreck though crying at little things like people saying I am a help in their lives, to hearing my sister's voice for the first time in weeks.

I am blessed.

These past six months have been a monumental blessing in my life. I would never take back this experience. I have grown in ways unimaginable before and have learned so much about myself. I have learned to trust and rely on my Lord on an hour-by-hour basis and seeing his tender mercies in the depths of personal hell. I know that He has never left my side throughout this time and I am eternally grateful and endowed to Him. What a blessing it is to have the knowledge of the gospel in my life. I really would not have been able to make it through without it here. My testimony is so much stronger because of it and my life has been personally shaped for it. I love the Lord with all my being; he truly is my Savior. Look at all He has given me. He has given me times to draw closer to Him, to my family and friends. I have been made a servant to Him and I bestow all to His cause. I know He lives. I see His life in my everyday chores. He knows who I am and He truly cares for me and loves me for who I am. I am so grateful for my amazing parents. My hell, they have done the most amazing job at raising my siblings and myself. I would never trade my family in for anything. My mom and dad have never left my side. They truly are the most treasured people in my life.

I am so grateful for Dave and Ang. I have never had a better relationship with both of them before this time. To think that I didn't call them my best friends before this time breaks my heart. Dave is one of the most caring people. He really is just a softee under his "New Yorker" hide. He loves freely and works hard in life. Ang is an angel on earth. I have always been able to tell her everything and she is so selfless to me. Her letters always came at the right time in my life. I have the best family in the world!

I am so excited and grateful for Emily, who is joining our family in a little more than two weeks. She truly is what a woman should be: She is graceful, but strong. She is smart, beautiful, witty, and just great. I have loved the opportunity that I have had to spend time with her and build a bond while being out here in New York. She and Dave are Yin and Yang together. They balance each other so well. When I see them together, I see a bright future full of love and hope in their new life.

I am so grateful to have my friend Ashlee in my life. She has seen the darkest moments of my life and the brightest. She is the definition of what a best friend should be. She truly cares for me and for my life and I feel her love and cares for me. She has been here for me every step of the way and I am so grateful for all that she has done for me. God put us in each other's lives for a reason and our paths crossed too many times for it to be just "chance." She has an undying love and trust in God and has been an utmost example to me.

Cami and Chanel have helped me so much also on my path to...maturity I guess. They have been my friends for ten years of my life and I know that they will always be a part of it. Even though we don't talk as much as we have before, we know that we have each others' backs. They have been faithful letter writers. They made me feel loved in the mail system. I am so grateful to have that.

I am grateful for the Hymowitz family and for having the chance of serving them for the past six months. They have three beautiful girls that have bright futures ahead of them. I loved them with all my heart and learned to selflessly serve others, even when they didn't see what was being done. They taught me a lot about myself and what kind of person I want to be. Without them in my life, i would not be the person I am today. I love and miss Maddie. She was my best friend and loved me with so much heart. She is a great girl. I really hope that she will be able to rise above the earth. I want those girls to have what the world has to offer. They are good girls and I love and miss them.

My heart is full at this time. I cannot believe all that I have in my life. How many people can truly say that they know that they are a child of God, are loved by their family and friends, and has had a good life? I am so grateful for the chance that I have had to come out here. It truly has been amazing. God has blessed me much in my life. Words will never be able to express how I truly feel.

That is, until I write my book.

Life is good. Remember that. I love you all and hope all is going well.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.