The Wolves (Act I and Act II)

Hello.

So, my birthday is coming up. It is actually in pretty much seven days. Why am I telling you this? Well, I have been thinking a lot about my life, particularly this year. I have thought about the ups, the downs, the sorrows and joys, and all the things that I have particularly been blessed with. I have witnessed parts of heaven and traveled in the perils of Hell. Adding to this the picture that I am living my last days as a "teen", it is only appropriate to think if I have lived my life how I planned it to be.

Life is just interesting; it really seems like that is all it is. The course that we take with it is so diverse for all of us, but we all need that diverse drive in it. I still wonder to this day why I decided to move to New York and why did I nanny at that particular time in my life. I wouldn't change that experience for anything in the world, though I do wish it did not have to end so abruptly and painfully. In a sense, I needed that job in my life right then. If it weren't for it, I wouldn't have had the chance to build a relationship with my brother and my sister-in-law. I wouldn't have learned to depend on myself or depend on my Lord. I would have never made the friendships I did there or have people touch my life. I feel, though, that I would have never realized the opportunities I will have in this life and the personal priority shift that would take place in my heart. I never knew I could love so many people with so much force until I took care of those three girls. I will never forget the special relationship that I shared with Maddie; how she opened my eyes to what life is really about. I went into that job wanting things only for me, a selfish way but a practical one for a nineteen year old. I wanted a career, a busy life in a metropolis, living only for myself. I left though realizing that I want to give myself to others. I want a life full of love, full of passion for all things, and to really take care of others. I now can say that I do want a family one day, a rarity for me to say before. Without that job, I would have had to realize this later on with much more trial-and-error.

How I wish that I could say that all this learning came through the easy and joyful times in these past months. Most of the growing, like how growing likes to be done, came from pain, anguish, and hard times. I have never felt so alone in my life before; so deprived in all aspects of life. I was humiliated, belittled, and doubted countless times. A lot of times in that abyss, it was hard for me to remember that I had some kind of worth. The pain is still with me today, but it is recovering at the speed it needs to. It was hard to work so hard and so much and have no one see that, especially the person that you were trying to prove yourself to. They will never realize how much I cared about them, loved them, and took their thoughts before my own. I will admit that it is extremely painful to hear that someone you looked up to--be it in fear or any other circumstance--say that you aren't a good caregiver and that you don't want to be a mother or that you aren't even that material, when you had been taking care of their kids for six months. That cut deep like many things that happened there. But how could I have had some beautiful and amazing experiences without that pain? Things happen for a reason and I needed that test for my life. It did throw me back a bit with my self confidence and love, but it was needed.

With any hard time, there always is a bit of a silver lining. That came beautifully after my termination in New York. In fact, with me leaving that nanny job was a blessing in itself. My work and task was done for that time and it was time for me to move on with my life. How grateful I am that I got to move on to the next chapter of my life in the sweetest house in Darien, CT. The Lord is one mysterious man and he always makes things work out so beautifully. I left New York broken, in pain, and scared. I entered into the Winegar's house feeling warmth, love, compassion, and gratitude. I don't think I have ever been that appreciated in my life before. They really don't know what they have done for me. Chrysula was my aide in this turbulent time; she truly cared for me and saw my potential. I was home when I was with the Winegars. Everything worked out so perfectly and timely for everyone, but I will eternally be grateful for that chance I had with them. I cannot put in words how much I love that family. They saved me from myself, and helped me realize again who I really was. I want to be like them in all my doings in life. They touched me so much, how can I not try to touch others that way? I miss them terribly and long for the day to see them again. Coincidences like that just don't happen. I am truly blessed to have that "just happen" to me.

It has been almost three months since I have moved home from the East. It has been hard to adjust back to life. Depression was my friend for a time and life went on slowly. I am happy to report that I am much better than I was before. Jobs and friends have crept up on me and helped me open my heart to new horizons again. I do feel like I have changed a bit, that I still have some reservations about myself. I am in a much better place though than three months ago. Just me opening up like this about the pain I felt is a huge step. I know things happened for a reason and maybe that is to share them so I can lift others up.

I am so grateful for all I have. Life really has been good to me. I have the most amazing family and I miss them more than anything. If I could, I would jump on a plane right now to New York to see them, hug them, and tell them how much I love them. They have helped me through this time and have been an anchor in rough seas. I have the greatest friends anyone could ask for. They have been there for me, in the good times and the bad. I haven't been the best friend out there during this experience and I wish I could take some things back that I have done. If they could only know how much they mean to me, they would blush ten times over. My heart fills with much love and gratitude when I think of them and all they have done for me. Whether it be a lunch date, late night drive, or me tearing down the soiled walls of anguish, all those events were a blessing times over. I really don't know what I did to deserve the kindness that I have received. I hope they all know how appreciative I am for them.

I am so grateful for all of you out there. You all mean so much to me. I hope you can feel the love I possess for each of you. Thank you for being part of my twenty year span so far. May God bless us all with the knowledge to see all we have and the compassion to help others out there. I love you all and wish you the best.

That'll Be The Plan

Greetings from Darien!!!

Hello All! I have relocated on my journey of life for a while. My goodness, my gracious, a lot has happened in this past week of my life. A lot of bad, but a hundredfold of good. To let you in on some of it, I will give you some key pointers.

--First off, I was "let off" from my job in Harrison, NY.

--My mom was the one to call me, not my boss.

--Prayers were answered almost immediately.

--Saturday morning, I ran away with the aide of David, Emily, and a white mustang convertible. The great escape was planned out well.

Last week was brutal. It was hard and awkward. It was so worth it for this end result.

I am extremely blessed.

I am now living with the most amazing family in this entire universe in Darien, Connecticut. They have recently moved from the city (on Saturday, to be exact) and I have been helping Chrysula with her kids while the moving process is going on. We were both an answer to each other's prayers.

Emily works with Warren, the patriarch of the family. After I was fired, she had some chitchat time with both Warren and Chrysula. They were talking about how they were moving in that weekend to CT and how they were stressed with how they were going to move in, handle the kids, etc., etc. Well, I had just been let go literally hours before this. Emily told them about me, she told me about them, and we agreed that I would come to help them on Saturday. Jeannie wanted me to stay until the fifth for her "convenience", but I was a fired woman and she had no control. So I moved in with this new family.

Wow.

What.

A.

Difference.

There is so much love in this home. The spirit is so strong. For the first time in six months, I have actually felt like I matter to people. The Holy Ghost is a constant companion and feels the home with love and warmth. The kids are great. We have Ceci, who is six, Gigi who is five, Garret who is two and a half, and little Hugh who is five and a half months. It is great. These kids know so much and love so much. I see the light of Christ in all of them. They are so smart and make me feel so loved. Yes, at times it gets hectic. The craziness of this household is so different though. There is purpose in it. There is strong understanding of each other and it is a family, not a business. These kids are my number one priority, which surprised them. They are amazing and true angels in my eyes.

Chrysula is a saint above saints. I have never felt so much love geared towards me before. She is so generous and so thoughtful. She is the mom that I want to be. She truly cares about her kids and shows great love and affection towards each of them. She has taken care of me so well and always says kind, genuine things to me. I haven't heard so many positive things pointed at me for six months, I don't know what to do with myself. I often break down in tears daily, being so grateful for all the blessings in my life. I am truly blessed. Her and Warren have taken so much time in making sure I feel comfortable and at peace. They are truly disciples of Christ. I could never thank them enough for all that they have been doing for me. I honestly cannot describe in words how grateful I am. Thank you to both of them. I love them more then they will ever know.

My friend is taking the discussions right now. She came to church with me on Sunday and agreed to meet with the missionaries on Tuesday. The lesson went extremely well. She seems interested enough and I hope and pray that she felt the spirit. The gospel has brought me so much joy into my life; I hope that she will see that and let that joy encompass hers as well.

I really don't know what I did to deserve such fantastic treatment at the moment. I am a shell of myself right now. The last six months of my life have been brutal. My confidence has been tested and my self-image has been distorted. I truly felt like I lost who I once was. As Ether promises though, through God, weak things are made strong. It's interesting to think of that, because Tommy wrote me something very interesting on that subject with missionary work. He told me that the Lord breaks you down into the lowest of lows then builds you back up to what He wants you to be. I see that with myself right now. I suffered a lot, but I now see His hand even more in my life. Unfortunately this has made me an emotional wreck though crying at little things like people saying I am a help in their lives, to hearing my sister's voice for the first time in weeks.

I am blessed.

These past six months have been a monumental blessing in my life. I would never take back this experience. I have grown in ways unimaginable before and have learned so much about myself. I have learned to trust and rely on my Lord on an hour-by-hour basis and seeing his tender mercies in the depths of personal hell. I know that He has never left my side throughout this time and I am eternally grateful and endowed to Him. What a blessing it is to have the knowledge of the gospel in my life. I really would not have been able to make it through without it here. My testimony is so much stronger because of it and my life has been personally shaped for it. I love the Lord with all my being; he truly is my Savior. Look at all He has given me. He has given me times to draw closer to Him, to my family and friends. I have been made a servant to Him and I bestow all to His cause. I know He lives. I see His life in my everyday chores. He knows who I am and He truly cares for me and loves me for who I am. I am so grateful for my amazing parents. My hell, they have done the most amazing job at raising my siblings and myself. I would never trade my family in for anything. My mom and dad have never left my side. They truly are the most treasured people in my life.

I am so grateful for Dave and Ang. I have never had a better relationship with both of them before this time. To think that I didn't call them my best friends before this time breaks my heart. Dave is one of the most caring people. He really is just a softee under his "New Yorker" hide. He loves freely and works hard in life. Ang is an angel on earth. I have always been able to tell her everything and she is so selfless to me. Her letters always came at the right time in my life. I have the best family in the world!

I am so excited and grateful for Emily, who is joining our family in a little more than two weeks. She truly is what a woman should be: She is graceful, but strong. She is smart, beautiful, witty, and just great. I have loved the opportunity that I have had to spend time with her and build a bond while being out here in New York. She and Dave are Yin and Yang together. They balance each other so well. When I see them together, I see a bright future full of love and hope in their new life.

I am so grateful to have my friend Ashlee in my life. She has seen the darkest moments of my life and the brightest. She is the definition of what a best friend should be. She truly cares for me and for my life and I feel her love and cares for me. She has been here for me every step of the way and I am so grateful for all that she has done for me. God put us in each other's lives for a reason and our paths crossed too many times for it to be just "chance." She has an undying love and trust in God and has been an utmost example to me.

Cami and Chanel have helped me so much also on my path to...maturity I guess. They have been my friends for ten years of my life and I know that they will always be a part of it. Even though we don't talk as much as we have before, we know that we have each others' backs. They have been faithful letter writers. They made me feel loved in the mail system. I am so grateful to have that.

I am grateful for the Hymowitz family and for having the chance of serving them for the past six months. They have three beautiful girls that have bright futures ahead of them. I loved them with all my heart and learned to selflessly serve others, even when they didn't see what was being done. They taught me a lot about myself and what kind of person I want to be. Without them in my life, i would not be the person I am today. I love and miss Maddie. She was my best friend and loved me with so much heart. She is a great girl. I really hope that she will be able to rise above the earth. I want those girls to have what the world has to offer. They are good girls and I love and miss them.

My heart is full at this time. I cannot believe all that I have in my life. How many people can truly say that they know that they are a child of God, are loved by their family and friends, and has had a good life? I am so grateful for the chance that I have had to come out here. It truly has been amazing. God has blessed me much in my life. Words will never be able to express how I truly feel.

That is, until I write my book.

Life is good. Remember that. I love you all and hope all is going well.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.

Skeleton Boy

I love weekends.

Oh wait, except this one.

Don't get me wrong, not all of it has been bad. Trust me. I like to make all situations into positive ones. This one has one great story though. You ready kiddies to hear a tale of tales? I call it.

To Boston; From Hell.

Oh. Get excited.

So for Memorial Day weekend, a girl that graduated a year before me (cute Sarah Bennion. We had Art History together. Really fun girl.) and I were planning on going to D.C. She emailed me that she didn't feel good about it though, so she was thinking of us going to Boston instead. Since I have already been to D.C. before, I was really excited to go to a new place that is home to baked beans, clam chowder, and parking cars in Harvard yard. So I rode the train up from Harrison, New York, to Hartford, Connecticut. It was about a two and a half hour train ride, but it was on a real train. It was pretty fun. I accidently stole the seat of a deaf man, and I felt pretty ridiculous. It is one thing when you steal from a healthy person, but when you steal from a disabled person that had a sign directly above the seat, yeah, you feel a bit sheepish after that.

When I arrived in Hartford, Sarah picked me up from the train station and showed me a bit around. We then went to Cosi to feed my starving belly, then got some Ben and Jerry's and walked up and down the street with all these fun little stores. It was really fun to talk to her. I saw her in February and we have been planning on visiting each other, but distance and time were in the way. It was great to talk about life and our little adventures we have had out here. We got home, she showed me the freaky basement (A Haunting in Connecticut has truly messed me up) then went up to see what there is to do in Boston. We both know it is a cool city, but we really didn't know what to do there. So we looked up stuff, decided on a few things to do, then went to bed.

Later that evening...

Poor little Madeline, one of the twins she nannys for, had a horrible ear infection during the night. She was howling and wailing in pain. I surprising wasn't phased by this and slept quite well. Poor Sarah, though, did not have the best sleep. She came in the room I was sleeping in and told me that she did not feel up to the trip to Boston. I told her that was totally fine, because it was. You never know what life is going to throw at you, so I was completely understanding. So she told me that a guy in her ward said that he would be fine taking me up to Boston. He is from the area (Hartford, not Boston) and was nice. I was thinking, "What the hell, I have nothing to lose," so I took up the offer. She drove me to his house, we talked to him for a couple of minutes, then we were on our way. He's twenty-three and likes music. I thought that would bridge some of the uneasiness.

Oh.

I was wrong.

I was polite and tried to make some conversation so the two hour trip to town wouldn't be that weird. He had other plans. Whenever I tried to start a conversation, he would quickly answer in the shortest amount of syllables, then silent up. I was figured a few things out then.

-He really didn't volunteer to take me.

-He didn't want to take me.

-He was not planning on having a good time.

Oh goody.

We finally got to Boston after a two-hour drive. He then asked me what I wanted to do. I didn't know; I don't know what is in Boston. He was not very helpful giving ideas. So all I could remember was the U.S.S. Constitution is harbored there and that it was fleet week. I said why don't we go down there. So he reluctently took me down there. It was a good half an hour--forty-five minute walk, and I tried some conversation again, only to be shut down. Wow. Fun time, let me tell you. I wanted to tell him so many times that we should just go back home, but then again, it was a freaking long drive there nad he went out of "his" way to drive me there. So I was just trying to make it a good experience. While walking to the boats, he asked me what I would do if the ship wasn't in. I told him that I would have honestly been fine and that weird things like that happen to me all the time, so it would just be another great story for me to tell. He was not impressed by that answer.

The boat. We found it. It wasn't gone. That is always a plus. Before the boat, there is a street called Chelsea ST. I was freaking out saying how that is my name and that that is just the most amazing thing. He didn't care at all, and seemed put off that I wanted to take a picture of it. So I didn't want to ask to get my picture taken under it. It would have been "too much" to ask of him. We got to the Constitution and come to find out, it is a wooden ship. It fought during the war of 1812 and the oak that made the sides was so strong, that whenever the Brits shot at it with their cannons, the balls would bounce right off. Pretty cool ship, if you ask me. Unfortunately there was a line, and pretty mediocre at that. He seemed put off by that, so I was like, hey, looking at the outside is fine with me. Fun right? Not really. We then saw the outside of a WW2 battleship. Ships amaze me. How they stay afloat and not rot out is incredible. They are huge and so heavy! There was this hilarious kid that was pretending to shoot one of the big missles at a ferry and I was just laughing hysterically. He, however, did not find it funny.

After looking at the boats, he was like, well it's one-thirty. Do you want to go eat? I was starving but I didn't want to make a big deal. So I said only if you are. We walked back into town and went by all these little restaurants. He then stopped, looked at me, and said "Well here you go. I'm not hungry so you pick something from here." I was overwhelmed! I honestly wanted some clam chowder, but I didn't want to feel like an idiot. so I just said that I wanted a diet coke. He seemed put off, then walked away. I was thinking to myself, what did I do to put you off so badly? We then proceeded to go to a bakery called Mike's Pastrys. Pretty amazing stuff. I bought some famous cannolis that had me stopped three times by people offering to steal them from me, so I thought that was pretty cool. We then walked through a farmer's market, then into some town square. I told him I wanted to buy a postcard for my cousin. Of course, he seemed turned off by that, so I felt rushed. After that, though, he made me watch some lame street performance. I was like, oh really now? So we stayed in the square for at least a half an hour, then started walking back to the station. I told him that I wanted to ride a train from Boston to home, but we sadly couldn't find the train station there. So I had to get in the car with him again. Of course, there was no talking, and I almost fell asleep at least twenty times. I felt like a fool.

In Hartford, I told him that he could just drop me off at the bus station so I could go home. I was exhausted, embarrassed, and felt like a total idiot. He dropped me off at the farthest end of the curb, and got on his phone and started making plans with a friend. In front of me. Nice, right? So I wanted to show that I was appreciated for him "wasting" his time, so I gave him a hundred, thinking that he would turn it down at least, so I could just give him a fifty, but all he did was look at it, said a fake thanks, then turned me out.

I've never been to a bus station in my life. So here I am, with my backpack filled with a box of tampons and a toothbrush, thinking, how do I get home? He left in a hurry so I had to try to figure this out. I caught a PeterPan bus filled with all these hardcore, street, people, and I am this little utah mormon girl, by myself with a box of tampons. What fun!

I made it safely to New Haven and made it on my train with, again, only thirty seconds to spare and made it home. Needless to say, spending eight hours with a complete stranger that doesn't give a damn about you is quite exhausting. Hopefully I will make another trip to Boston and actually have some real fun. So thanks, Tim, for nothing.

See It All

Pictures

Ruby Tuesday

Utah. How I love thee.

I had the chance of going home in April (4th through 11th, to be exact) to go to a concert, surprise my parents for their birthdays, and just relax in love. I guess I am going to share this experience with you. Hold on tight, it is going to be an intense one.
SATURDAY
On the morn' of April fourth, I woke up at five in the morning to be picked up by the train shuttle (If any of you have seen the episode of Arrested Development where Tobias gets picked up by the shuttle to go to the airport, it really is like that. Made me laugh hilariously...quiet....in my head thinking about him saying "I can't believe this is only fifteen dollars! Who would want to get picked up in a limo when you can travel like this?!") I was so excited to go home, so when we got to the airport, I tripped and fell out of the van. Classic Chelsea there. The driver was all worried and I just laughed.
I arrived at the airport around six thirty, checked in, then realized my plane was an hour late. I woke up four hours earlier than I had to for the chance to sit in the airport waiting for my plane to come at eleven than nine fifteen. Oh glorious. So I did what any other person would do: I bought a grande mocha frappachino, some Dunkin Donuts for the mother, and watched Arrested Development episodes on my lappie. It did help the time pass.
I boarded the plane.
Made some friends.
Saw my mountains.
Bawled when I saw my mom and dad. Cried even harder when I realized that the dogs weren't in the car. DEVASTATION.

By then, it was already noon...ish. So I went home, showered, then proceeded to the Lloyds to get Ashlee for the concert. That was fun. I was screaming and jumping, Cooper was barking, Lynne started screaming, and it was a lot of chaos. Even Carey was excited to see me; he made me grape juice. So that was fun. Ash and I then went to pick up Jake so we could go see
Brett Dennen
ANGUS and Julia Stone.
We found a huge Indian head made out of a tree. I made us take pictures. We then partied, partied, partied. Amazing show. Amazing friends. After that, we went to IHOP until two in the morn'. When all was said and done, I had been up for a full 24 hrs. Oh, the glorious.
SUNDAY
General Conference, baby. The parents and I watched it, I didn't listen really at all, then...I don't remember any of Sunday. Hmm...well, it was a good one? Oh, it showed the dedication of the Draper Temple. Wow, I am so glad I write my blog a month later so I forget all the details. Oh, Steph and I hung out a bit. I got to see my favorite redhead. That was good.
MONDAY
I went up to campus with Ash. She showed me where she parked, I found a deer jaw while walking to school, went to institute, then waited for her to finish math. I talked to Melissa Warren for a bit, then wondered "What else am I going to do?" Well, thank goodness I saw the banner advertising a blood drive THAT VERY DAY. I went up to the ballroom, rolled up my sleeve, and tapped that vein silly. Ok, I didn't tap it for them, but I did donate blood. Then I picked out the red gauze so that
"It will look like you hit an artery and it wouldn't stop bleeding."
Man, I have some poetic words. So then I had to buy an earring for my third hole, but before that, some Peruvian people were selling bracelets and I made Ashlee get one with me so we would have friendship ones. We fought in the Union Building. Some girl in an I heart NY shirt just stared at us. Pretty hilarious.
We went to Ume. I bought a yellow sundress. It was a hot day. The dress was sheer. I didn't have a slip. I gave both Jakes a show for free because of this. We all went to lunch at Pelatons and I talked them into seeing A Haunting in Connecticut because I live right by that state. Jake Cook flaked out. It was a pretty horrifying movie. I can't spend the night at my friends' homes in CT because I think that all their basements were morgues and dead people are going to attack me. Pretty great fun.
TUESDAY
I can't really remember what happened this day. I probably just hung out. Maybe I slept. Who knows.
WEDNESDAY
I hung out again with people? I made a collage of my parents.
THURSDAY
This is where it gets good. So my amazing, classy, smart, witty, gorgeous sister had this amazing plan that we should have a surprise party for my parents' fiftieth birthdays. I agreed and so did Dave and Em. We threw it at the Mandarin. Grandma and Grandpa Waterfall helped us with the planning by saying that they wanted to take mom and dad to dinner because the "family was in." So I rode up with mom, dad, Gma, and Gpa and they were so surprised to see forty plus of their close friends in the dining room. Mom freaked out. It was extremely hilarious. The best moment was when my mom saw Pam Alston there. Pam lived in Austin while my parents were there. She actually had a daughter around the time I was born. Well, mom and Pam hadn't seen each other for ten years. That was pretty great to see how excited they both were. While eating some amazing food, we all got to say things about how we love the padres. I, of course, bawled because being away helped me truly realize how amazing they are. It was so neat to see how many people love and care for them. It really makes me want to live my life as my parents have. They have helped so many people and spread so much love. They really are two of the greatest people in this world..
FRIDAY
Mom, Ang, and I went shopping for wedding attire. It was exhausting. I did say multiple times that we shouldn't get my clothes here because "the Westchester has more of a selection." Yes, I am a New York snob now. There you go. We all got some beautiful dresses while out. It was nice to just get it all done at the same time too. We spent forever shopping though, so that was pretty much Friday.
SATURDAY
Day of mourning, day of leaving. I had to say my goodbyes to everyone, which sucked. It's the last time that I would see most of the folks in my grand state until Christmas. That was a weird feeling. It still is a weird feeling. It is so nice to come back to a familiar place with familiar faces and people who love you and know you. I miss that to this day. The fam and I went to Cafe Rio before checking me into the airport. I had to check on my bag because I packed some Love Spell, so that sucked. Oh well, it was a long flight but I made it home for Easter. You know, even though I say I hate Utah (I said that even yesterday) there is a lot of good in that state. It is full of peculiar people, people who actually care about others and want people to be happy. They enjoy the ride, not really worrying about how long it will take to get from point A to point B. They truly love life. We are like the Hobbitfolk in Middle Earth. I can't believe that I just said that and that I am going to post that. We really do enjoy life though.
So I am back in New York (surprise, it's almost been two months) and life is going well. There have been some trials and times of frustration, but it is good to be back to my schedule. I miss you all terribly though. I hope you know that I still love you all; you have been good to me. I have been spoiled to the extreme with friends, love, and family. I hope I can help spread the love and happiness to my New York neighbors. Home is honestly wherever you are happy and where you feel loved. Hopefully I will find that here. It was good to see you all. Love you.
Cheers.
Ch.Wa.

Shut Your Eyes

Woah.
What the hell, people. Sorry I haven't written for a while. I am great at wasting good blogging time not on blogging. Eh, oh well. At least I am writing right now, right?

So let me think of when the last time I wrote. Hmm....before I came to Utah, correct? So it has been almost two months.
Two
Months.
That is one LONG time for me to not update people on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Thanks, Jefferson, for letting me steal your words. He should have had those copyrighted when he wrote them. Then again, that would have gone against our innate rights. That is an intense thought to think about. We are enabled as people to have rights. They are ours; no one can take them away. It is incredible to think about how our nation was built upon that foundation, that we as a people, no, as a person, matter in this world. That is a pretty cool thought. Thanks, Thomas. May your soul rest in peace because of the work you have done.
I don't know if I would describe myself as a patriotic person. In fact, a couple of years ago, I loathed America. I didn't want do be associated with any part of it. I had this lushly romantic idea in my mind that I would meet a Spaniard, have a whirlwind romantic courtship, then live in Spain the rest of my life, taking on their traditions and outlook on life. I would still be fine with an attractive Spaniard courting me (or anyone at this point), but I think I would want to stay in the states. Ok, I would maybe move to Canada, but I think I would be thinking, "I am fine with the good ol' U.S.of.A.
I think I feel this way because of the growing up I have done and moving around the country. We live in a glorious time in the world. Even though there is torture controversy, swine flu, and countless civil wars in countries, we have it extremely well in the states. I have never had to go hungry, I have never felt like I was putting my life on the line for the beliefs and mindsets that I have. I have been around strong women and have been able to see how far we can go in life. We have it good; some people will never have what we have. At times I do feel overwhelmed with what I have and then seeing others' conditions. It is almost like the "why me?" train of thought, but in a different light.
Why was I born here?
Why have I always been well off?
Why do I still have anger and frustration towards the government and local law?
Why do I want to be somewhere else?
Being back east where our country was conceived, I get the chance to see history and what really was done for the past generations and what is being done for the future generations. Our forefathers had something in mind when they fought for this. It was so important to them, so life-giving to make sure that this country was founded. It was founded under God, under a Supreme Being, and made sure that everyone* had equal rights.These men--and women--put their lives on the line so that future generations would have this vision of life. Look at us now. We truly don't appreciate what we have in the country. We bicker, moan, and whine about what we "don't" have. Shut up already, people! You have more than you can imagine and so many people would kill for it.
So on this Memorial Day, I hope you all will truly try to realize what we all have in our lives. Remember our forefathers, their vision of this life. Remember our current soldiers, putting their lives in danger to continue to keep our freedom and to bring it to others. Our way isn't perfect, we have our flaws. We are so blessed to be here though. Please remember all who have died for this vision; don't let their deaths be in vain. I love this country. I love this freedom. Let's make them proud of this generation.
Cheers.
Ch.Wa.

*everyone meant different things back then. Look at the nation in its current time though: everyone really does mean everyone. Even though we have had to work a lot towards it, it has been accomplished. Smile on us, George, smile.

Love Will Tear Us Apart

Oh, hello there.

Yes, I am still alive.
Yes, I am still in Harrison.

I haven't written for a while because

A: My adapter to charge the computer broke, so I was lapless.
B: I have been lazy
C: I have been busy and too exhausted.
D: All of the above.

I will let you decide which one. I will be writing soon. Right now is not the best time; I still have groceries and dishes to be dealt with. Hopefully Wednesday there will be a new update.

I love you all so much.
I miss you like crazy.
Oh.

I am coming home (UTAH: getting bigger and better, folks) from April 4th to April 11th. I hope there will be some pleasant run ins.

Hope all is going well.
Life is good.
Cheers.

Ch.Wa.

Penny on the Train Track

Today is Sunday.

Yesterday was Saturday.

My story, however, begins before these two days.

You see, it was Thursday, when I went out to Stamford to dinner with one of the previous nannies. Her name is Jennifer and she is also from Utah. She nannied for the Hymowitz two years prior to my current time, so she wanted to check up on me to see how I am doing. We went to a little peruvian restrarunt called Fiesta. It was so nice to just sit and talk to someone about what is going on and have them put in their imput from personal experience. The evening was just so much fun. Jen is great and I hope to hang out with her more.

I also met with my bishop that night to get a new temple recommend. He seems like a really cool guy. We talked for a while, got my recommend, then headed to meet Jen. I am starting to like my ward more and more, which is good because that means I am becoming more comfortable.

So Friday, Kayla had iceskating and Maddie wanted to ice skate there while she had her lessons. I was like, sure, why not. After I said yes though, I started freaking out because I am not the biggest fan of standing on two blades balancing while trying to move on frozen water. So I was mentally freaking out while we were headed there. When we got there, we dropped off Kay and Nicole to the big rink, then the mongoose and I went to the kiddie rink. I was actually quite comfortable on the ice. Maddie did a great job skating, so we then joined the girls on the big rink. We all traded holding hands with Mads, but when I was by myself in the back, I lost my balance. Not the best thing for me. I screamed, loudly, and fell on my back. It didn't hurt, but I saw three staff men come to my aid asking, "Are you alright? Do you need help? Blah, blah, blah?" and I was just thinking, I am alright I didn't get hurt. It was hilarious really. I was just saying "I'm ok, I'm ok," while trying to get back up. Classic moment for me.

That sums up Friday

Saturday, I went on a temple trip with my ward. I met up with an adorable girl on the train, named Kelly, and we rode our way into Grand Central. Kelly is just great. We get along so well, and we are assigned to do everything together. It is hilarious really and we are just so lucky to get along. We got off the train, went on the subway to 72nd, then walked to Lincoln Center to the temple. That is such a neat temple. I is so weird to think of how compact it is in a little building, where I am used to a temple having grounds and lots of room. We did conformations and baptisms, then out to lunch at the next door Europan. I got a delicious veggie burger and discussed Yogi Tea with a fellow ward mate. Great times.

Kelly and I then went to Times Square to meet up with her sister and Debbie. We met them at Anthropologie at Rockefeller, enjoyed some time there, then I was off to home to let the dogs out. I later on picked up Kelly at the trainstation and we went to Stop and Shop to buy food for church the next day. We bought twenty packages of deli meat, four bags of chips, seventy-two mini sub sandwiches, and three cake mixes. We went all out. I proceeded to drive her home, then made a cake in a heart shaped pan. Divine. Ashlee, Jake, Marz, and other misc. Lloyds and I talked for five hours, which ended with me going to sleep at three in the morn. Great day and great night.

Today went well. The munch and mingle was a huge hit. Everyone had a blast and enjoyed the food. I was set apart and I am excited for my calling. It is going to be a great experience. Overall, I spent six hours at the church, and I am now just sitting in my bed, falling asleep. I hope this blog isn't too boring. I mean, I wrote most of it with my eyes closed--Literally. I hope everyone is doing well. I will write a better blog sooner than later. Love and miss you all.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.

Black & Blue

Happy One Month For Me!

My goodness, my gracious, I cannot believe that I have been gone from home for one month. It has gone by so quickly, I just cannot comprehend it all. I feel like I have been out here for years, like I have grown up in this town my whole life. This has been one interesting journey for me.

So I totally forgot where I left off from my last blog and since I am too lazy to look back, I am just going to start with Saturday.

Saturday was actually a great day. I sat in my room all day. No joke. I just showered the body, because I was too lazy to touch the hair, then put my pajamas back on and relaxed. I really didn't do anything TOO productive because who wants to do that on their day off? Not the past Saturday me. No siree. So I just sat on my bed, wrote letters, colored some valentines, burned cds, then talked to Ashlee for four hours. That was pretty much the best part. We are the biggest dorks, just posting pictures of bands on each other's facebook, laughing hysterically. It was like I was back home, chilling in her basement. It was great.

Sunday was a bright day. Honestly, it was a beautiful day. Another tender mercy from the Lord. The drive to church is something else. It is the most beautiful thing ever. It is just another reason why to go to church. You are on this two-way highway, with tree branches sheltering you on either side. With the song on the branches and the sun out with a pale blue sky, it was remarkably breathtaking. That was truly something else to take it.

This week in church, I decided to have a totally new perspective of the people. I decided that I needed to find someone who needed me, not me having someone come to me. It worked great. I walked in with a big smile, talked to as many people as I could before sacrament, then sat down with my friend, Alacia. It is hard to decide to put in the effort, but once you decide that and get into the groove of it, it becomes so easy. I gave myself to the Lord that morning, and he did the rest.

So it was Fast Sunday, which means testimony meeting. I actually said the opening prayer for the meeting. Afterward, all the girls were complimenting my outfit. The best way to get known is to get on the stand, people. After that, it was time to write Tommy and color more Valentine hearts with a couple of the girls. I came prepared with the paper and the markers, they came prepared with their hands and creative minds. One of the girls, Jenna, asked me if we have to write it to someone specific. I was thinking, uh, no. Why would I make you write a Valentine to someone? I didn't say that though, promise. So sacrament went very well. The spirit was felt, friendships were made, and I was back to my old self.

The bishop came into sunday school to take me out for a little chit-chat. He seems like a really cool guy. We went to talk in the nursery; I got the rocking chair, he stole a chair from another room. We talked a bit, him asking me about my previous life (not as some monkey in the Amazon or whatever, but Utah life) and why I came out here. I told him openly that I don't know why I am out here. I just got an itch that needed to be scratched and then everything else fell into place. He asked how I would feel having a calling in the ward and I told him I want to be extremely involved with the ward. He told me I would, then there was a little more chit-chat. After a while, he said to me that he would like to extend a calling to me. I was thinking, oh wow, that went by quickly. So I told him I am fine with whatever and the calling I now have is being a ward missionary. When he said that, I just felt so grateful to the Lord. I had been asking about how I can come and help others, to get out of the "woe me" stage and to actually care of others. It was completely overwhelming. So our funny, little joke of how this is a mission, actually turned out to be, well, a mission. I will be working with investigators and converts, helping them along the way, and other misc. things. It is actually a big calling, but I am so ready for this. I just feel so grateful and amazed that I get to share this gospel with others now. It is a little overwhelming thinking of what an example I will have to be, but I know it will be good.

Sadly, I don't get a badge.

Everything else went by smoothly in church. I ate dinner there, laughed hysterically with Jamie, and drove home. It is nice to know that wherever I am in life, I can always go "home" in a metaphorical sense. After that, I knew that this week would rock the socks off of Harrison.

Monday, Monday. Was it so good to me? I really can't remember right now. I have gotten into losing my mind quite easily. I sometimes can't remember what I did three hours prior to the present. Ah, but I remember now. Monday was a fiasco of errands. I first started at the mall, exchanging Kayla's christmas clothes for a larger size. I was looking in the store windows, seeing if I could find a dress to wear to the wedding in June. Hopefully J.Crew or Anthropologie will get some good stuff soon.

Next was the grocery store, post office, the rec. center to renew Mitch's coaching license, laundry, and other things. I was pretty busy, if I say so myself. The girls were fun. We all talked a lot and bonded well. Maddie and I watched Spongebob while she bathed, then I was off to pick up Kayla from soccer. Her friend is adorable and it was actually really fun picking them up. After that, I had to go to A&P grocery to get some cookie dough and then the gas station. There was a tender mercy at the store though. My favorite food checker-cashier...person, was there. It made my day because he wasn't there in the afternoon and I just needed a pick-me-up from him. Two hours post shift, I made it home, got into bed, and slept. Monday was a good day.

Tuesday. That was yesterday. I didn't have any errands to run, so I just stayed at home and got ready while Maddie was in school. She gets out at eleven forty on Tuesdays, so it was just a nice, little break for me. I forgot to pack Maddie her snow clothes, and since it was snowing, I didn't think it would be a nice day to play out. Boy, was I wrong. They went out, alright, and the poor babe had soaking pants. It was so sad. She had to ride in the car with just her underwear on. We ate some lunch then headed to ballet. I love watching her learn how to read. She was spelling out the letters of the book I was reading, and then I would tell her what it said. It was great. She is such a smart, spicy girl.

After ballet, nothing really happened. The girls came home from school, Stephanie watched Maddie, and we worked on homework and ate dinner. Kayla had tae kwon do and a test for her black belt candidate class. She got 99 percent, which is great! She is a smart girl and she is getting so excited to qualify for this. After that, I was off shift, I went in my room, talked to Ashlee, then went to bed.

Today, I have a cold, but all is well. Maddie has school until two today, so I am just chilling, and I am about to have a Starbucks run. It is crazy to think I have been here for one month already. I am excited to see what the upcoming months have to bring. I miss you all, but I am here for a reason. Knowing that, it makes is so much easier to be here. I love you all, and I hope ya'll are having a fabulous time. I will write again soon, so enjoy your lives!

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.

All The Things That Go To Make Heaven And Earth

Hmm.



It has been, what, a week since I have written anything? Well, I rock at keeping everyone updated. I am sure most of you are wandering around, lost, thinking "What happened to that one girl? You know, the one who writes weird stuff about her life. I think her last name has something to deal with water. You know, like running creek or falling waters." Well lucky for those folks! I am still alive and still going strong.



Except in the blogging department.



So let us all see if I can remember what I have done in the past week. Here we go!

Saturday

I had the pleasure of going south into the city once again to see my brother and future sister-in-law. I really love how I wind up there every couple of weeks. It is a great city, full of life and wonder. Before I left though, I went to the Verizon store to change my phone number and to be emancipated from my parent's phone bill. It was sad leaving my 801 number. I think it was really the one thing keeping me a part of Utah still. Well, hello New York! I have one of your fantastic 914 numbers.

However.

After switching my phone number, my phone did not automatically switch its main number, so it was still on the disabled 801 number. I did not have a working phone and I was about to go into the city without knowing where Emily lives. Let the adventure begin!

I got into Grand Central and worked my way to the subway station in there. With my Not For Tourists book, I decided that Emily lived right by the park on the East side because I remember there being a park by her place. So i caught the subway that would take me to Lexington (the right avenue) and 60Th (the wrong street). I had no clue where I was and I was stranded without a phone. So I did what anyone would do. I wandered in Central Park for an hour, enjoying the sights, and not feeling nervous at all. It was great for me. However, it was not great for the family. So I asked a stranger if I could use their phone, called Emily, and found out that she, in fact, lives on 96Th and Lexington. I was a little off the beaten path. So I called a cab, jumped in, and was delivered to her adorable abode.

It was really fun to stay with her and Dave. Emily and I bonded over Starbucks chai tea lattes and also inside the Verizon store. My phone finally works because of that reason. She is an amazing person. I am so excited to have her as my sister-in-law. She is smart, funny, strong, gorgeous, understanding, patient, and so many other things. I just feel so comfortable with her. Her and Dave also are so great together. Use can see the love they have for each other, and they have a great relationship. I am so excited for both of them!

After our bonding session, we picked up Dave and went to a little burger joint called Joy's Hamburgers, or something in that sort. Then it was Dave's and my chance to bond. He really is a great brother and I am excited that we will be able to have a relationship. It is good that we are near each other now. We then stopped by the apartment, got my a scarf, and went to a little party at a building that has been in Em's ward for over five years. It has an amazing rooftop view and a deck that you can go on. That was actually fun. I talked to people and had a good time. Saturday was a good day.

Sunday

It was a lazy Sunday, woke up in the earl' afternoon. We had a great breakfast full of cinnamon toast and chocolate milk. I haven't had cinnamon toast for years it seems like, so it was quite delicious. I helped Emily with her lesson, and we all went to church.

Church was an experience. There were some very, very interesting speakers. The ward was assigned new sister missionaries, and the sweet new one, fresh out of the MTC, was so pumped and ready to baptized people, it kind of made me cringe. She is going to have a fun reality check. The next speaker was a ward member who talked about standing strong, or something of that sort, and used a lot of it talking about Winged Victory, a statue from the Hellenistic Greek period and she didn't click well with the audience. It was a good talk though, don't get me wrong. Then the last speaker was this guy, and boy, was that a talk. Dave pointed out that he was like Michael Scott from The Office and I couldn't stop laughing. It was THE WEIRDEST talk I have ever heard in my life! One minute he was talking about his grandpa saving a boy from drowning in a river and how that made it into General Conference, then the next moment he is talking about how is friend's last name is Gardiner and he actually likes gardening. It was bizarre.

Emily's lesson went great. The class participated and she made it flow smoothly and easy to understand. She is just too great. I can't stand how excited I am that she is going to be in our family! We then traveled back to home, where I was greeted with a delicious Indian chicken dish, Bear Grylls stuck in icy water, and some random lady who came into the apartment checking it out. It was a great day, that ended with me in Harlem, waiting for my train.

So I am not the smartest person. No, let me rephrase that. I am a very smart person, but when I do something stupid, it is never a little slip. It is a huge tumble of humiliation. So I was waiting for my train, and I went into a little glass part to keep warm. Well, there were two guys in there when I entered, then one left right after. I had a feeling like I needed to get out, but I didn't. So I was just looking around, when he asked if I could do him a favor. He then proceded to tell me about how he had been in jail for a while and he was on parole, but he had no money to ride the train to see his daughter, and if he snuck on, he would lose his parole so he needed my help to buy him a ticket. I was horrified! I told him I didn't have any money, good luck, then went downstairs to be paranoid for the next half an hour. It was so horrifying, I thought he was going to pop a cap at me. I saw a couple police come in and then I saw him come down from upstairs and leave outside alone. I felt bad, but I didn't want to risk anything. So I am smart, right? Hopefully. I at least made it home safely, talked to Ashlee, and went to bed.

Monday

Monday was an eventful day. Something was leaking up at the top of the hill by the house, so ice was everywhere in the driveway and down Cayuga. Jeannie told Mitch that she think something could be wrong with the pool house, but he told her not to worry. So I drove the girls to school, came home, and was surprised to see a lot of construction guys at the house scraping the ice. When I got out of the car, one of them walked up the drive to talk to me. He told me that the water was coming from our property and was wondering if they could have a look up in the yard. I told them that was fine, then they proceeded up there. Well, come to find out, the water in the shower had been on and was overflowing on the property, freezing everything in its path. That was pretty crazy. So I called Mitch, who called many people, and I was left alone thinking, "Man, this is a great start to a week!" Thank goodness I was not to blame.

After that excitement, I got ready for the day, went grocery shopping, car washing, dry cleaning, and banking. Having nothing else to do, I went to the mall and got my cartilage pierced. That was fun! I love my new hole and it is a nice little bling for a while. It burned pretty bad, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore. After that, nothing really eventful happened. Monday was a good, productive day.

Oh, I also went to FHE with my ward. It is getting a little better. I got a priesthood blessing from one of the bishopric, so I felt much better about the upcoming week. I am giving it all a shot.

Tuesday

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. What happened that day? This is a reason why I should not procrastinate on my blog writing. Hmm..

Ok, now I know what happened. Mads had ballet, so she danced while I read some more of David Sedaris. He is my idol. If I could have an inkling of his humor, I would be one happy man, er woman. Jake asked me 100 thousand questions of me, which was great, because I am a sucker for talking about myself. That is what happens when you are conceited.

Maddie was disappointed in me for not coming downstairs to watch her dance. I felt halfway bad about it, but not really. Horrible, I know. I got a letter from Cami with an ancient picture of her, Chanel, and I when we were twelve, with lipstick all over our faces and pillows stuffed in our clothes. It made my day. Kayla also is a black belt candidate, so she will hopefully get her belt in December. It is quite intimidating when you know the nine year old that you babysit could literally kick your butt. She is a sweetheart though, so I know she wouldn't do that.

Wednesday

Wednesday was a snow day. No school for the girls, and really no work for me. I was allowed to sleep in until Maddie woke up. Unfortunately, Maddie woke up at seven, a half an hour before my shift started. I made us all breakfast, exercised, and talked to the girls of the plans for the day. Kay went to a friend's house, as did Olivia. Maddie had a play date with twins named Allie and Caroline. Right when they came over, all hell broke loose. It was hilarious, all the chaos. They automatically got naked, changed clothes, and tore Mads' room apart. Steph and I were exhausted. It was a fun, relaxing day for all of us. A well needed break.

Thursday

Kay and Liv both had a two hour delay, so I made pancakes. Maddie didn't have school, so it was to be our special day. We went to Target, buying a million boxes of cereal, (more like six, but still, it was a ton) speeding through the aisles with the cart, ate lunch at the mall, and bought a necklace and bracelet set. It was so fun. She is my little buddy. My days go by so slowly when she has school until two. I know how my mom feels now without me as her "errand buddy." We just have too much fun.

We went home, picked up the girls, then later on ordered pizza and ate it on the piano bench as a picnic spot in the living room. It was so fun. We put a towel on the bench, watched the t.v., and sat in kiddie chairs eating. These girls are so creative and fun. I love it.

Friday (a.k.a today)

Today was pretty chill. I got the girls ready for school, did laundry and showered, then picked up Maddie from school at eleven forty. We then ate a quick lunch and were off to tae kwon do. I got a letter from my cousin, Tommy, who is currently in the MTC getting ready to depart for Korea. It was great to hear from him and feel the Lord's spirit. I also slipped on the ice in the driveway, flying on my hip. I love God's tender mercies to help me calm down like that. It was actually hilarious and I just laughed it off. I then dropped off Kay's ice skating stuff to the driver today, picked up Maddie, and we started making valentine cards. It was so much fun. We colored for probably three hours. The older girls were just in and out today with friends, so Maddie and I were mostly by ourselves.

When Jeannie got home, I went to White Plains to go see a movie. I did not have enough change for the meter to go to the movie and I was scared to go by myself, so I just went to Barnes and Noble instead. I chilled there for an hour then headed back home. So this is where we find me, sitting in my bed, falling asleep and trying to be clever while blogging. I am growing to love it here. Every day comes with its challenges but it also comes with its tender mercies. The Lord has blessed me so much while being here, so even though I am physically alone here, I know the Lord's spirit is accompanying me everywhere I go. So all is well in New York. I am healthy, (hopefully) happy, and enjoying life's ride. I love you all and hope that you had a great week.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.

Blood Bank

Mmk. So I wrote my last post on a Tuesday. Today is Thursday.

Now that I have my bearings, I can start typing the life of me. So yesterday was Wednesday. We were completely out of milk in the morning, so I knew that I had to go to the grocery store. You see, Mondays are the days I like to go to the store, but since it was a holiday and I had a dinner reservation with myself, I could not have been able to go to the store. So the girls had to have water in the morning, which was kind of depressing, but alright in the same.

I am having a hard time remembering what I did yesterday. Forgive the blank details right now.

Right, so I went to the store. I wanted to go to the store near Port Chester, but they don't have any cut up watermelon, so I went to the local A&P. I got a really close parking spot, so that made my day. I do like going to that store because the workers are very friendly and I feel like I am a little ray of sunshine to their New York lives. I am always extra nice and smile a little longer when I am working with my consumer skills. The guy at the deli was hilarious and even gave me a free sample of the meat I was buying. The cashier and I started up a conversation about Dora soup and how Maddie won't eat any other soup but that. It was a good day there.

After grocery shopping, I watched an episode of Arrested Development. I love that show so much. So brilliant. Too bad its glory was not long on television. I just sit in my bed, laughing hysterically. It is my escape from reality.

I picked up the girls, Stephanie watched Maddie, and we all hung out until a quarter 'till, then it was off to tennis. While the girls were at tennis, Maddie and I had some lovely conversations. I asked her if she loved me, could we get married. She said that was gross and that she isn't old enough to "get in love." I asked her when is the right age, which she answered with "my mom's age." We went back and forth, which was extremely entertaining for Stephanie and me. Then it was off to pick up the girls once again. Overall, Wed. was a great day.

Today is Thursday. I know my days quite well. We were all ready at 8:35, but Kayla wanted to show me some bat mitzvah cards, so we got into the car at 8:39. Not to worry though, we were only a minute off schedule to her school. Maddie and I then went to her school, sang the vaseline song by the Flaming Lips, and I took her into school. I would be back sooner than I thought though, because I forgot to give her her snow clothes. Silly me.

I donated blood today. I got on the New York donation site, saw one that was today in White Plains, then went there. It was great to donate blood. The guy who did my paperwork saw my Utah license. He was the first person to ask if I am a mormon. I proudly told him that I am. It was great! He then asked if the state was fifty percent LDS. I told him it is more around ninety, and he was amazed. He was a really nice guy.
I then went to my blood taker, which she harrassed me by saying it was her first day. It really wasn't. She was a lot of fun though. It pinched, then the pain subsided. I stopped bleeding before the bag was almost full, but not to worry, they just moved the needle a bit, then I filled the bag. I felt alright, not great, when I stood up, so I had to lay back down in a comfy chair, with a nice heater next to me, and I had an apple juice. Man, it was great feeling like I was five. I just wanted to fall asleep. They would have probably thought I had passed out though, so I stayed awake.

It was sad to donate blood without my dad. I thought of him the whole time though, and how we went for my first time together. Overall, bloodletting was a great experience. I got juice and cookies!

I drove a bit, got some gas, and went to a bagel shop to get a grilled cheese bagel. Blah, blah, blah, and I went home. I picked up the girls, drove some more to misc. places (Casa D' Italia, Olivia's school, Ingrid's home, etc) then came home to the girls sledding in the yard. It was great to see. We then had mismatched meals, played some hide-and-seek with me screaming bloody murder right when Jeannie got home, finished the first season of Arrested Development, and I am now typing away.

I am too tired to be "enjoyable" on the blog. I hope something was fun from this. Today was a good day though. I love and miss you all.
Cheers.
Ch.Wa.

The Temptation of Adam

Yesterday was Martin Luther King day.

Sadly, I thought it was President's Day. I wished many a happy day for our presidents, when in fact, signs of MLK were everywhere to me. Funny but sad at the same time.

Since Jeannie and the girls had the day off, I had to fend for myself with a day off. It was nice. I woke up at ten thirtyish, sat in bed for a half and hour, and got ready to be out of the house at noon. I needed to go buy some blank cds so that I would be able to share the joy of my music to all. So it was off to White Plains for me once again.

For some reason, I always migrate to White Plains. It is a really nice area, has all the shopping needs for me, and I can get misc. chores done while I am there. So this is my shout out for White Plains: You rock!

I jumped in my jeep, headed out on Mameranack Ave, and arrived safely to the City Center Plaza. City Center is very interesting. It is made of, geez, I think four floors, with stores like Circuit City, Barnes and Noble, Nordstrom Rack, Target, and a handful of restaurants and a movie theatre added to the mixture. It is so different from what we have back home. I mean, the Target is in the underground. Weird indeed.

Anyways, So Circuit City is going out of business everywhere. I always want to cry whenever a business fails, especially if it is a locally owned one. It just breaks my heart to see someones dream fail. It is weird, but I just feel so much for them. But whenever a business goes under, there are some fantastic sales. So I bought a couple of television seasons (Arrested Development and Flight of the Conchords), a couple of cds, blank CD-Rs, a cassette adapter for the jeep, and I think that is it. The poor girl that was in the checkout was the only one working while her managers just chatted away on their phones. She was so stressed and people were being mean. I wanted to shout at everyone and say "Can't you see she is trying her best?! Leave her alone!" Sadly, I didn't do that though. I just waited patiently.

I left right after CC for the fear of spending more money. I was hoping my trip would last forever long so I could just go from there to New Caanan for Family Home Evening. So, I did what any music/driving lover would do. I put in my ipod and drove.

And drove.

Driving.

Oh, I passed a town.

Driving.

I have to pee.

A cemetery! I drive around for a half an hour, taking pictures, listening to music. It was beautiful. Old and new stones, both intricately designed.

Three towns in!

Where am I?

Driving.

I went through all of Westchester, I believe. A couple hours later, I wound up in Scarsdale. There is supposedly a family ward in this area. I wander a bit in here until my bladder could not handle any more of this nonsense. Thankfully, at that precise moment, I came upon a little shopping district. Perfection! I went into a diner, which was closing right then, and I used their restroom. I then wandered around, looking at the shops in the beautiful snow. My goodness, it has snowed like crazy since I have been here. It is so beautiful though. I actually don't mind it, which is strange for me. It falls so softly, clinging to the trees. It is just so beautiful here.

While wandering around, I saw this festive boutique. It caught my eye and I found myself inside. The girl there was extremely friendly, and come to find out, she also lives in Harrison. She was just so kind to me. We talked for quite a while. God is sending me angels every day. I don't think she really understands how grateful I was to talk to someone. She also thought I was twenty-two, which was great for my self-esteem, especially since last year a lady thought I was thirteen. I am growing up!

After our visit, and a pair of earrings, I found my way back into White Plains. I was hungry by then, so I decided to go to a restaurant by myself. Big, bad mistake. I went to an Italian place and had to declare to the man asking how many would be in my party, that I was the party. Sitting by myself in a huge, empty room with couples around, I felt so bitterly lonely. It was a horrid feeling in my gut, sitting there, facing the world as just myself. I ate quickly and quietly that night, leaving a big tip to the waitress so she didn't think I was rude and quiet because I didn't like her. I left silently, walking quickly to target to buy wrapping paper and envelopes for present sending.

While on my way home, I found out that Family Home Evening was canceled. I was actually bummed about this because I was going to try to give my ward another chance. I don't feel that welcomed there, which does not invite the spirit whatsoever. I think I might move into a family ward. I don't need church to find friends. I need church to help me become close to Christ. I am still going to give my singles ward a try, and I am going in with a positive attitude, but If it won't work out, then I am not staying.

When I made it home, I wrapped Jake's birthday presents, burned cds, and talked to Ashlee on the phone. She listened to me and comforted me. I have just never felt so lonely in my life before until last night. Sitting there, all alone, ordering for one was so depressing. I just need some good human contact soon. I am lucky to have a friend like her. She is another angel God sent to me. I am one blessed girl in Harrison.

Today was better though. Maddie had dance today and Kayla had Tae Kwon Do. I love my girls so much. They were all so excited about Obama being sworn in. It was great. History is being made. I feel like I am part of something new. It is exciting to see what will happen, good and bad. Change is hard to handle, but it is good to have.

Oh, my phone is messed up, by the way, so please no one try to call me. I did not know magnets have a bad affect on phones, and I was messing around with the turning tab on my phone with one. Well, now my phone decides when it wants to turn off and on and when to vibrate. So hopefully that will be better in the morn. I love you all and wish you a great night. I am blessed and loved. I love you all. Life is good.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.

Don't You Evah

Happy Saturday to all!

Today was a great, fun day for me. I slept in, having a dream with Burberry earmuffs and that I could travel through time by running around four chairs four times because it was divisible by pi. I really enjoyed that dream, actually. I don't know why. It was just so fascinating.

Anyway, continuing with my day, I got ready to go into the big city. No, not White Plains. THE city.

The Big Apple.

Manhattan.

New York City.

By myself!

It was great. Jeannie lent me her metro pass so that I didn't have to pay for a train ticket, which was fantastic of her to do. I boarded the train at eleven fifty, put on my ipod, and enjoyed the ride. It was a great, liberating feeling going into the city by myself. Just something about riding a train with fellow new yorkers, feeling like I am one of them, was very closing for me. I wanted to shout, "Yeah, I belong here now fools!" but I quietly sat with my ipod and solitaire.

So why did I treat myself to a big visit to the city? Well, my sister's favorite musical, Spring Awakening is closing on Sunday. We were going to go when we were there a couple weeks ago, but the only tickets they had left were one hundred twenty-two dollars. Ang didn't want to pay that price, but I was fine. In fact, I did spend that price. It was so worth it though.

After the train ride, I walked up to 49Th street and got some lunch at a place called Pax. It was alright with an attractive man sitting by a table next to me. Sadly, he was not interested. My hair was probably too crazy for him today. While sitting, I called my mom and was talking to her when a lady sat by me. She heard me talking about trying to find the nearest Anthropologie, when she chimed in and told me it was around 50Th and Fifth Ave. I thanked her, then proceeded to start a conversation. She, in fact, is a native to the city. She now lives in Florida, but flies to the city at least once a month, to visit family and to see plays. She was a very open and kind woman, and I needed to see someone like that today. So to Dave, not all new yorkers are asses and some actually are human. She was great and an angel in disguise.

After lunch, it was one thirty so I decided I should get my ticket so I could go into the theatre. Well, that plan didn't work out as I hoped. You see, there was a HUGE line to get into the theatre. And these were people with tickets. So after will call, I walked to the end of the line which was AT THE END OF THE BLOCK. It was crazy! So many people love that play and they wanted to be there. So after standing in the humid, windy, freezing air, I made it into the theatre. It was beautiful. The stage was all brick, with misc. pictures on the back of it. Purple velvet draped all the seats, while the ceiling shined with chandeliers and gold paint. I fell in love with that stage. It was just so incredibly ornate but homey at the same time. The scenery was simple. A couple of chairs, sometimes an end table. Costumes were non-flamboyant 19Th children's garb. The music?

Incredible.

So beautiful. So delicate. How the cello would whine at the beginning, with the glockenspiel chiming around seven notes. Then the voices! My goodness, my gracious, it was so amazing. Duncan Sheik outdid himself. Those young--most on their first debut--actors had the most beautiful voices. It was so worth the wait and the money.

I never thought I would see the things I saw on that stage. I don't even know if I can repeat them. I mean, if people find out that I know what masturbating is or sex, it might make them stroke out or something. It was so great though. It showed what everyone experiences when growing up and the dangers of being in the dark too long. The theories in it are so Freudian, which I love a good story with Freud's views of psychology and the personality. It was brutally honest and soul wrenching. I just loved the whole thing. It was beautiful. It was racy. It was just great. Great Broadway experience for me.

After the spectacular viewing of the show, I went to Rockefeller Plaza for some shopping. I went to Ann Taylor Loft, got some shops, then found Anthropologie. I really wish Ashlee were there with me to go in there. It was huge! We are both avid fans of that store. I browsed around and bought me a picture frame and some tights. I then proceeded to wander in the Met store, saw some Degas magnets, but did not buy, then went to NBC for some birthday gifts. But before all of this, I saw a hot pink mini cooper limousine. It was the craziest thing I have seen in my life! I ran frantically after it to take a picture with my phone to send to Ash. My goodness, it was out of control.

Did you know that I love NBC? I thought you didn't. Well, that store is amazing. It is all my favorite shows in one place. They had a Mr. Bill doll and I wanted to buy it to send home to my parents, but of course, that place makes you pay out of the butt. So I bought some little things, then headed home.

I went to Barnes and Noble, bought a cd and hot chocolate (members get ten percent off on it, you know), then found the Grand Central Station. What a beautiful sight it is. After paying nine dollars for a quesadilla and walking up a stairwell that smelled of stale urine, I got on my train for some quiet time. The train ride home was great, and I am proud of myself for going to the city by myself. As my mom said, I am a big girl now. Even people here are surprised I went alone. It is funny, really, because it didn't weird me out at all. So now it is time to relax, plan next week's schedule, get some work done, and just love life. My second week is officially over. I love it here. I love my job. But most importantly, I love you all so much more than I did before I left. You are all too great to me. The Lord has blessed me well, and I am seeing that in this experience. I hope ya'll have a great sabbath tomorrow, and I will chime in soon enough.

Cheers.

Ch.Wa.